Global Warming: The Root of All Evil... here we fucking go again...

BREAKING- As Canadians across the country continue to bake in "record" temperatures, a new study says that global warming is increasing the odds of extreme heat waves.


Skyrocketing temperatures in Alberta, and consequently high demand for electricity as residents cranked up the AC, led to rolling power outages across the province.
And, if you want a glimpse of some of the worst of global warming, scientists suggest taking a look at U.S. weather in recent weeks.

Horrendous wildfires. Oppressive heat waves. Flooding from giant deluges. And a powerful freak wind storm called a "derecho".
Meanwhile, the worst drought in nearly 25 years is devastating crops in Illinois and Indiana. And nearly one third of the U.S. corn yield is getting punched in the fucking cock, due to unusually hot temperatures and bone-dry soil conditions.


Here we go again. Seems every time it gets a tad hot around here, all the global warming pundits and climate change gurus get out in force and start running around like coke-addled monkeys with erect penises, furiously tapping their keyboards to post all that motivational "Green" shit on Facebook and Pinterest, then patting themselves on the back, handing out atta-boys and high-fiving each other for "calling it"...

Hey fuckface, it's called "summer weather"-- shit tends to get hot this time of year...Wait a minute… it gets HOT in the Summer and COLD in the Winter…. when the fuck did that happen??? Gee whiz Mr Scientist… what shall we ever do??

People and shit getting caught in wildfires and their houses burned wouldn’t be because of Urban expansion into forest areas…no fucking way!! People build their fucking houses built on flood plains and in the middle of tornado alley.. What does that have to do with anything??

So tell me then, how is it that Obama can shut down 30% of the US’s manufacturing and Global Warming continues to get worse?

When you shut down a nation’s economy and with so many people (who would normally have full time jobs) be out of work, shouldn’t the temperature decrease?

Perhaps manufacturing capacity has no connection whatsoever to the temperature of the environment... Does this mean we are just wasting billions of fucking dollars on a ‘Green’ energy solution, for no reason at all?

For the love of midgets getting fired out of circus cannons and retarded monkeys in Shriners' hats riding bicycles, we're more ‘Green’ now than we’ve ever been.  Not only that, the World has never had so much of it’s energy being supplied by ‘Green’ sources than at any time in it’s history.  Yet, global warming continues to get worse... How in the fuck do we know that wind turbines and solar arrays aren't responsible for the hot weather?


The thing is, it's really not that hot. And it's not that global.  A picture speaks a thousand words...

Certainly US drought conditions cannot compare to the 1930s... Weren't they breaking records ans shit before all those big fucking Suburbans and Tahoes hit the road..??

Hey, don't get me wrong or anything, I happen to like nature with all its trees and shit, and I can really do without having some fucking refinery pissing raw sewage into my drinking water; and I also do believe this human race can really fuck things up for the environment for a very long time, ultimately leading to its own demise; I just grow tired of the asshat media circus validating an unsubstantiated financial model so certain politicos can do 'business' with partisans / fellow gang members that people object to (no homo), every time some weather anomaly or some natural disaster strikes..

Maybe it's just me. I'm still trying to figure out how exactly does accumulating an egregious amount of 'likes' on that bullshit you posted on Facebook save the world??


In the Meantime, I'll  have my A/C cranked to '11' so shut the fuck up...

Spain 2008 VS Spain 2012...

Does anyone remember when Spain was praised for it’s solid economy in 2008?

http://www.wharton.universia.net/index.cfm?fa=viewArticle&id=1589&language=english

http://www.forbes.com/2008/10/13/spanish-banking-bailouts-markets-equity-cx_je_1013markets17.html


And here Spain is today... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/09/wrapup-1-eu-gives-spain-m_n_1660714.html



Canucks and Aussies best pay fucking attention.

Get Off Your High-Horse, Doc...

In a new report, it says 83% of US doctors have considered quitting because of Obamacare.

Say what?? Seriously, who the fuck do they think they are anyways? The power company?? EPCOR?? (please feel free to refer back to my last rant) They figure they can do whatever the fuck they want, charge whatever the fuck they want, just because they so happen to wield the power of fucking Zeus...?

IMHO, it's about time these cocksuckers got punched the fuck off their high-horse; these fuckers had it way too fucking good for way too fucking long; sitting on their pedestals ordering nurses & other hospital staff around to their every whimsical caprice like some degenerate Southern farmer to his slave-- "Toby, I need you to change the yacht's oil and mow the fields AFTER you change out this old fucker's heart and wipe down his scrotum..." "Yes Massa.."

Western society put those fuckers on the pedestal.. "oh they save lives; we need them, they are the experts!"

Experts??? Have you EVER met a person who HASN'T had at least one story to tell of either themselves or someone they know, that has been misdiagnosed by some doctor in some way?

Well, they don't fool me. Those fuckers are guessing it--they're fucking winging it-- they don't really know what the fuck is wrong with you-- it's no different than the Canadian Tire mechanic fixing your car-- we'll just start changing out parts until the problem is fixed...$3000 later for a simple oil change and you're good to go...Call me in the morning. A good fuck is still a good fuck no matter who's handing it out.

We're no better off in Canada either... we just get our health care fees deducted from all our paycheques our entire lives via taxes, and because all this shit is hidden from us, it somehow this makes us believe we are getting some sort of "group discount" at Walmart instead of getting bent over and getting the "Royal Treatment". Thing is, everyone here wants a US-style of health care system because for some reason just because our average home price went up in value and we missed the 2008 collapse, we are somehow entitled to be ahead of that kid with cancer in the hospital lineup.

Health Care should be like that of Mexico or Thailand; Doctors are just regular 'Joe tradesmen' who will fuck you with their thumbs for minimum wage.

Rolling Blackouts?? Fuck You EPCOR....

The Alberta Electric System Operator says today's temperatures have led to a record demand for power across the province. Albertans are being asked to voluntarily reduce their consumption until 6:00 tonight.

Rolling blackouts are expected to last an hour or more in areas across the province.

UPDATE: EPCOR says most power in Edmonton is now restored. Still, it's reminding Edmontonians to continue to conserve power.


First of all, FUCK YOU EPCOR. Secondly, fuck you too Alberta PCs and the fat fucking dick you rode in town on.

Are we NOT the energy capital of the fucking world?? We got coal, natural gas, oil... what gives here with all these blackouts? We need to conserve energy because we may run out??? Do we not make the shit here??? Coal is currently pricing in a full market valuation of $00.00 and it is more expensive to mine the shit than miners can get for it as proven with recent bankruptcy filings in the US today. And, with our pals in North Dakota fracking the shit out of themselves in the last few years, natural gas is not too far off the same price as coal. Hence, the cost of electricity basic inputs are pretty much lower than they ever have been these days. In fact, it should be free and would be if the leaders that be in charge weren't a bunch of two-bit hucksters out for the betterment of themselves only.

Need I remind you dicksuckers that our precious provincial government, that you VOTED IN for the last fucking 40 years, also have $16 billion plans to build 8X our existing transmission infrastructure at OUR TAXPAYER'S EXPENSE without ANY public NEED for them or a needs assessment done for that matter. In addition, after these lines are built via public funds, it will be GIVEN AWAY FOR FREE to 2 private transmission companies (ATCO and ALTALINK) along with a promised rate of return of 9%—mostly to sell to the US of fucking A for a nice tidy profit in which none of you fuckers that paid for that shit will ever see any of or any dividends arisng from. Nice go fuckface.

My mood is like a lit stick of dynamite dipped in nitroglycerin right now, so don't even get me started about the fucking Oilsands Producers, who are too fucking busy cutting budgets and cheaping out on proper maintenance of their own plants, to build their own generators for their own use on their own dollar. Say, how about public tax dollars supplying their power needs too? How novel would that be?

The power companies certainly has no prejudices with that either. They seem take pride in handing us the cock in ass bills every month, balls deep in administration charges, delivery charges, distribution charges, rider fees, local access fees, and transmission charges even when we do happen to use no more power than we did in 2010 and barely more than we did in 1997.

Now, if all you fucktarded Albertans would only actually LOOK AT your fucking utility bills for a change instead of the local MLS Real Estate Weekly to see how rich you got over the last month, you would notice every one of the above said fees are indeed separate charges per se, different from each other, and is charged to YOU, the consumer, every single fucking month; making up almost 45% of your entire power bill and near tripling your monthly power bill per month without a dramatic increase in actual per kWh energy charge in the last 15 years. (In fact, in 1997, electricity cost $0.0668 per kilowatt per hour unregulated via Edmonton Power Corp.; in 2012, it costs $0.07- $0.08 per on a contract via an asshat power provider like EnMax as shown here in a previous post).

It's +33 degrees centigrade (91.5*F) outside in the shade; the humidex blew the fuck up hours ago and it feels like +45*C (113*F); and now the fucktards at Epcor want me to sit and sweat in the fucking dark.

Like I said before: Fuck you Epcor. And fuck the rest of you for thinking otherwise; I for one, pay homage and bow my head to the central A/C Gods for whom have blessed me and my family with the gift of sleeping at night; You do understand, fans are for suckers, unless of course you are meaning to throw fistfuls of cocaine in them.  Good night.

Get Ready to Pay More Taxes Fuckers...

Once again, like we do every year, we fall for the City's annual bait and switch Ponzi scheme and must pull hook, line, and sinker out of our fucking asses.

This year, Mandel and his cronies gave us preliminary estimates of an 8.6% increase to our property taxes; but when everything is said and done, the increase will amount to a more probable 5.5% increase in property taxes.

And, in fine Edmontonian dicksucking fashion, everyone, of course, will feel joy and elation since it was only a 5.5% increase instead of the original 8.6% estimate and justify City councillors giving themselves another pay raise by touting "well, its still cheaper than what New Yorkers pay for their taxes; plus, our homes went up in value by egregious amounts last year..."

Yeah? Well, you Sir, are an asshat. Fuck you and the dick you rode in on...

A 5.5% increase is still more than double our local consumer inflation rate! For the love of retarded midgets shot out of cannons, you're comparing living in Millwoods to Manhattan???

That's akin to walking into the Walmart, seeing a jug of milk is priced at $3000; but then, upon getting to the cashier, you ejaculate all over floor because you only had to pay $1000 for said milk... what a deal!!

Justification: "I just saved $2 grand on my milk!! Those fuckers at Nordstrom's pay more for a bottle of Bordeaux!!"

"...plus my home value went up again this week!! Woohoo!!"

Yeah. We're different here alright.

A Fine Day Indeed...

US Open, NBA Finals, Portugal - Netherlands; Germany-Denmark at the Eurocup... this is a fine day indeed.

I eagerly await the Greek elections with animalistic violence. Those olive-eating goat fuckers are about to fuck themselves hard, one way or another. If they vote for one party, everybody loses. And if they vote for the other party, everybody loses. What a splendid election. Very reminiscent of Alberta elections except nobody shows up to vote here in Alberta...

Does anyone else find it a tad hedonistic of all these reporters and media showing up in Greece gluttonously awaiting the collapse of the modern financial world as we know it???

Nobody really gives two fucks and a retarded monkey, do they?

46 million people in the US alone on food stamps and starving in the streets and Greece ready to fall off the map and we're more concerned about if our 10-year-olds actually need that iPhone or if they would be better off with an Android phone...

Don't get me wrong, I mean hey, I too often take for granted how fortunate I am as I rant and bitch about Wall Street shit and how fucked up things are around here these days... But I am for certain, in 1933, people had REAL things to bitch about. So let's not lose sight of the fucking ball people... Life is a miracle and the stock market is there to fuck things up.

Happy Dad's Day to all the "real daddies" out there.

”Nobody appreciates Daddy....I’m talking about the real daddy that handles the fucking business. Nobody ever says, ‘Hey, Daddy, thanks for knocking out this rent!’ ‘Hey, Daddy, I sure love this hot water!’ ‘Hey, Daddy, it’s easy to read with all this light!” -Chris Rock.

Bring On The Crash Fuckers!!

Futures indicating markets to go on a cocaine-induced ejaculation rally this morning on news of the Spanish banks bailout.

Did I not mention what a bunch of crack pipe-smoking whores addicted to the whimsical caprices of the central bankers modern society has become?
Every $1 dollar uptick in crude per barrel is worth at least another $100K in home value for Albertans. 

"Bring on the crash!! Let Europe fail. That is way over there and we're here!" The exact words spoken by some dude from Calgary in which I had an interesting conversation with over the internets on the economy, high finance, and the state of housing.

To him and a great many of you, all markets are the direct result of forces of supply and demand and Canadians are smarter, wiser, more cultured and generally just nicer than anyone else in the entire fucking world.

It is an undeniable fact that "we are different here"; And, we are morally and financially entitled to an endless uptick in real estate, now and forever.

Real estate, rightfully so, should be still the talk of the town here and lining up for million dollar pre-build condos is entirely justified because there is only so much land here in Alberta (as compared to??) and doesn't everybody on the planet want to own pot lights and granite countertops in Edmonton?? You see, only our fucktarded redneck American neighbors to the south and lazy feta-eating goat fuckers in Greece and drunk Spaniards are stupid enough to borrow money they can't possibly repay and move into houses they hadn’t earned and borrow against their home equity to buy new SUVs and flat screen TVs.

There are no bears in RE. Only those who already bought because of their uncanny genius and impeccable timing to predict the oncoming never ending oil boom; and those on the sidelines with fistfuls of cash who want prices to crater just enough so they can get in on the Kool-Aid euphoria.

People like me touting the "impossible" housing correction are frowned upon as "nabobs of negativity", and the blasphemous words I speak are because of the jealousy that flows through my veins for not getting "in on the action" in time and missing out on the housing boom via sitting on my puny crack shack in the middle of the Hood.

Stocks and shit are for degenerate riverboat gamblers and if I choose to put my dick into market guillotines on a daily basis, that is MY own fault; don't blame my financial woes on the housing industry!

True that. I made my own bed and I plan to fucking jerk off in it or die in it. 


I just choose not to have my entire net worth in a depreciating illiquid asset and happen to respect the fact that because Central Banks are printing counterfeit money and throwing chuckwagon loads of cocaine into rapidly spinning ceiling fans are the very reason I am not already loitering about the WEM food court in a burlap hoodie with holes in it asking all of you real estate gurus for a couple of bucks to buy a cup of soup.

Enjoy the blow while it lasts. Greece matters as does Spain and Italy despite Alberta home prices. And I'm not talking soccer. 

The Mind of a 5 Year-old, Cherish it.

Being educated tonight by the 5 year old while he is tapping furiously on his iPod Touch, massacring zombies and shit:

Tristan: " I don't remember Evan (his older brother) as a baby because I was in Mom's belly and I couldn't see..."

Me: Oh really. How'd you get in mom's belly?? Did she eat you like a hamburger?"

T: "NO!! You're just silly dad... "

"Mom's heart made me in her belly... in humans, the moms take care of the baby... For penguins the dads carry the baby.."

Me: "Soo.. do penguin Daddy hearts make baby penguins then?"

T: "NO!!... penguins don't have hearts, they just have bones.."



The brilliant mind of a 5 year old... cherish it. He turns 6 tomorrow... Happy Birthday Tristan!



Happy birthday Tristan.

Only In Alberta...

Only in Alberta that ONE political party can be given a majority government for the 12th consecutive time and call it "change"... 

What is amusing is the overwhelming sigh of relief over the internets that everyone is glad the outcome of the greatest catfight since Neve and Denise is a PC majority as the usual Liberals cast their votes towards the side of Allison Redford. 

I guess Alberta just isn't ready for an "all gays and artists must die and burn in eternal hell" party yet by electing the lessor? of two evils... It just comes to show you, strategic voting works when only half the voters show up; and Albertans would rather take it up the ass before being labeled a "bigot that takes it up the ass"...

Well don't start procuring fine wine and beluga caviar just yet peeps; keep in mind these are the same dicksucking goatfuckers that fucked shit up in the first place...

Two-tiered healthcare and education cuts are still in the imminent future for Albertans; it just won't be as overtly explicit as the PC's traditional use of lies and smokescreens are more to our liking. Oh and please feel free to enjoy your heating and power bills in the meantime…

Personally, I was hoping for a PC minority but it is what it is... And for now I can honestly say I'm absolutely fucking elated the phone calls will finally stop...

Futs moderately green but expecting more carnage under the hood; today it's all about $AAPL

Happy Earth Day. Fuck You.

Happy Earth Day. 

Now what kind of nanny state clown fucking hippy dreamt up this stupid holiday, to remind us all to be nice to Earth and shit?? 

Oh wait, I suppose you BELIEVE we should all invest morally too; we should all vote ethically like we have some sort of panoramic democracy, and throw flowers at each other while we sing kumba yah in bare feet and burlap dresses, in celebration of our free healthcare and vast oil & timber supplies....

Well.. I happen to live in the real world--in the ghetto of Alberta, we take naps and drive big SUVs; we profit from selling ALL our natural resources to our neighbors, then bitch and shit on them for buying so much of it; we buy cheap shit from China, then shit on them for making them so cheap; we eat fatty burgers then shit on McDonald's for making us fat; and we pay premium dinero to live in big ass mansions on tiny lots so we can flaunt to the Joneses the extra rider fees and delivery charges to heat all that empty space that we don't need.

I work in a fucking refinery that stinks of cancer, and I am going in today to make sure it continues to stink of cancer...

Fuck Earth Day.

So, to celebrate this momentous occasion, I am driving to work doing 180 down residential roads, tapping this drivel on my iPhone while throwing plastic milk jugs and aerosol cans out the window... and I would do so even if it weren't Earth Day... just to let you know personally "Fuck You"

It is Sunday you know and markets are closed. I would be checking my portfolio but that's fucked too.