Bring On The Crash Fuckers!!

Futures indicating markets to go on a cocaine-induced ejaculation rally this morning on news of the Spanish banks bailout.

Did I not mention what a bunch of crack pipe-smoking whores addicted to the whimsical caprices of the central bankers modern society has become?
Every $1 dollar uptick in crude per barrel is worth at least another $100K in home value for Albertans. 

"Bring on the crash!! Let Europe fail. That is way over there and we're here!" The exact words spoken by some dude from Calgary in which I had an interesting conversation with over the internets on the economy, high finance, and the state of housing.

To him and a great many of you, all markets are the direct result of forces of supply and demand and Canadians are smarter, wiser, more cultured and generally just nicer than anyone else in the entire fucking world.

It is an undeniable fact that "we are different here"; And, we are morally and financially entitled to an endless uptick in real estate, now and forever.

Real estate, rightfully so, should be still the talk of the town here and lining up for million dollar pre-build condos is entirely justified because there is only so much land here in Alberta (as compared to??) and doesn't everybody on the planet want to own pot lights and granite countertops in Edmonton?? You see, only our fucktarded redneck American neighbors to the south and lazy feta-eating goat fuckers in Greece and drunk Spaniards are stupid enough to borrow money they can't possibly repay and move into houses they hadn’t earned and borrow against their home equity to buy new SUVs and flat screen TVs.

There are no bears in RE. Only those who already bought because of their uncanny genius and impeccable timing to predict the oncoming never ending oil boom; and those on the sidelines with fistfuls of cash who want prices to crater just enough so they can get in on the Kool-Aid euphoria.

People like me touting the "impossible" housing correction are frowned upon as "nabobs of negativity", and the blasphemous words I speak are because of the jealousy that flows through my veins for not getting "in on the action" in time and missing out on the housing boom via sitting on my puny crack shack in the middle of the Hood.

Stocks and shit are for degenerate riverboat gamblers and if I choose to put my dick into market guillotines on a daily basis, that is MY own fault; don't blame my financial woes on the housing industry!

True that. I made my own bed and I plan to fucking jerk off in it or die in it. 

I just choose not to have my entire net worth in a depreciating illiquid asset and happen to respect the fact that because Central Banks are printing counterfeit money and throwing chuckwagon loads of cocaine into rapidly spinning ceiling fans are the very reason I am not already loitering about the WEM food court in a burlap hoodie with holes in it asking all of you real estate gurus for a couple of bucks to buy a cup of soup.

Enjoy the blow while it lasts. Greece matters as does Spain and Italy despite Alberta home prices. And I'm not talking soccer.