It's Going to be a Loong Season...

Please pardon my foul mood and harsh verbiage this morning...

After taking an egregious $60K kick in the fucking testicles on the markets since Monday, my temper is a lit stick of dynamite and I find myself a wee bit sensitive when it comes to discussing issues on full retard spending to the upside these days...

Trust me, I'm at the gym right now and I'd much rather be stabbing these pencil-necked dicksuckers holding up ALL the cable-flye machines in the fucking eyes and pushing fat-faced old fuckers wearing MC Hammer pants doing my sister's weights beside me into idle barbell racks than ranting about my kid's hockey...

So we just found out our eldest son, Jayden, is booked for his first hockey tournament for the season... In less than 2 weeks time...

Thanks for the fucking heads up.

I do understand an 'early-in-the-season' tournament is a wonderful thing for team cohesion and camaraderie. I get that.

While I find this "money is no object when it comes to my kid's hockey" mantra quite displeasing; and though I am just a mere blue collar low-life working in a refinery for hourly wages, and my kid wears Nike and last year's Under Armour, and my lifestyle is that of a vagrant piker with a burlap hoodie when compared to the arcane spending habits of the rest of the Joneses in the hockey world, I still feel I do have the cash to 'tolerate' the whimsical caprices of this teams' parents and coaches for the sake of my kid being able to improve and skate with this higher tiered team...

And, while I also understand "time is of the essence" when it comes to entering these tournaments as they do fill up quickly, and a lot of the team's decisions are already made within the confines of this tight little clique, as I have been to every parent meeting that I was made aware of, I just thought it was "common courtesy" to have prior INPUT and CONSENT from all the other parents too, even those degenerates of the lower order of the hockey parent echelon, of the specific dates and availability of our kids being able to participate in it; not only because it is expected of us to pay for this too, but because it is also an out-of-town tournament that involves booking a hotel room for the weekend, leaving work early, and pulling my kid out from school to drive him there for a Friday night game...

You see, I've been a big fan of past hockey teams waiting to get the regular season league game schedule first, which also happens to start in 4 days, before booking any tournaments to see if there are any conflicts in schedules... Now how novel would that be?

And what about the other siblings also enrolled in hockey? Don't their teams and coaches expect at least half the level of commitment we are putting towards this fucking team?? Oh no problem getting my second kid to his games and practices that weekend, because being in two places at the SAME fucking time just so happens to be my specialty... Shall I pull gay rabbits out of my magic hat for the purposes of entertaining you fuckfaces too??

Well, it's looking like it's going to be an even longer season now.... Is it possible to hate hockey?

Have a nice day.



PS. If you insist on leaving asshat comments such as "maybe your wife should get her driver's license.." Please refrain and say that to my face.. That way you know the guy that just punched you in the cocksucker right the fuck now is me...

Everything As Planned...

So it's the end of the world as we know it AGAIN...

Now before you get all stupid and shit and cancel Christmas, I'll have you know the Bearded Clam Bernanke is taking a toke on his blunt and laughing at all you asshats, panicking and shit... Don't you know everything is going swimmingly in this new world of Costanza trading and endless lines of cocaine...

Here are two charts for your perusement:

What happened with QE2:

  

And what the fuck is going on right now:

 

You make the call.

It's Not About the iPhone 5 Dickface...

Looks like we're in full retard fuck you we're all dead crash mode with AAPL leading the charge... MMs are back from taking the summer off practicing degeneracy and it's time to fuck all of you out of your hard earned coin...

So quit trying to call the bottom and when AAPL is gonna reverse back to heaven and more, because this isn't about iPhone 5 sales or Chinese factory workers pulling a Marxian Norma Rae proletariat uprising or your stupid oversold indicators... AAPL will sell off and continue to sell off until the SPX has stopped selling off.

Yeah, I said it, the iPhone is NOT the end-all be-all centre of the fucking universe, much to my chagrin; this is about the overall market. Meaning, until the big boys decide they've fucked all of you out of your shares and are getting bargain basement deals on their shares, any pop in AAPL may be short lived...

Here are some key levels you may be interested in:

 

Key support is at $652.45; breaching that we see the 5o day MA at $645.00 and major support at the 50% Fibonacci retracement levels at $630.00 then $600.00

If we do get around under the $650 levels, I will indeed be interested in AAPL being ripe for a swing into earnings and possible product announcement. Anything under $630, I'll be looking buying more retardo longs; QE3 and 5 million iPhone 5's sold in 3 days is for real... the rest is just noise.

Good Luck in all your trades.

To Put Things in Perspective, You Are an Asshat...

In 2002, I was working on the Athabasca Oil Sands Project (AOSP) at the Scotford Upgrader in Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta. It was the first Mega Project I ever worked at and I remember being in total awe of the magnitude of the jobsite and sheer number of workers that was employed there. I kid you not, I have never seen so many fucking people in one place at one time EVER, excluding a Stanley Cup Finals game or a U2 concert...

They brought in all sorts of people from engineers, pipefitters, welders, boilermakers, and electricians to  architects, elevator mechanics, teamsters, carpenters, and scaffolders from all over Canada and the United States; I was foreman of a crew of 12 and not one single person was a local; they booked up every hotel in the entire Edmonton and surrounding area, hired 130 buses to transport 65% of the workers to and from the jobsite; and what was normally a 20 minute commute to work, took over 2 fucking hours to get home after work because of all the traffic generated from that jobsite.

The money was abundant and it flowed freely; I don't think anyone that worked there for close to a year made less than 6 figures.  Yeah yeah, relative to all you Wall Street types making cold calls to fuck old people in Ohio for $500K a month, this is chump change. But for a lowly hourly wage worker in Alberta, post 9/11, this was pretty good coin and the place to be at the time. Fuck, it was the first time I grossed $130K in less than 10 months; not including what went into my pension, full health and welfare benefits, and other job incentives, like free gas cards every now and then.

Weekly brass pools where if one lucky employee bought a raffle ticket that week and got his name drawn, he took home a big green garbage bag with a $180K cash in it.    There were weekly job incentive draws for TVs, boats, and quads.. The client, Shell, in addition to the little trinkets, such as Swiss watches, GPS units, lawn chairs, camping knick knacks they handed out to everyone every month, they also gave everyone incentives such as airmiles so they wouldn't quit.  I received an egregious 18,000 airmiles in which a third of those afforded me a free return trip for 2 to California for less than my 10 months of employment there.

Scarcity of exotic metal welders led them to cut their own side deals; a welder from Nova Scotia on my crew, who was only 1 of 3 that had an inconel ticket, worked a week in another part of the plant on some high priority job and cleared $6500 in 4 days with paid cab ride to and from the job from his hotel. 

An electrician even made $80K selling chocolate-covered almonds fund raising for his kid's dance club in 6 months!

But even with all the "easy money" being made and all the incentives to attract tradesmen from all over North America the client was practically throwing at us all, the turnover rate on that job was a dreadful 50%; for every 10 workers hired on, half of them either were fired or said, "fuck this shit, I'm outta here!"

I remember every 2nd day, if not every day, there was some sort of altercation or dispute, whether it be someone fighting with security guards, or with the bus drivers, or other workers, or their foreman.  There were even a few wobbles, where the entire jobsite walked off the job and rioted in the parking lot over a fucking fence the client built around the construction site so to keep workers from going offsite to the parking lot for a toke. And in another instance, a wildcat occurred over rubber boots of all things. 

The peak workforce for the $1.1 billion 3-year fast-tracked project was 10,500 workers with 23 million manhours expended. 


Now let's put this in persepective, shall we?

Yesterday AAPL sold off and continuing to sell off this morning because of the disappointing number of iPhone5's sold over the first weekend and also due to Chinese workers involved in riots taking place at the Foxconn factory where they make these iPhones. 

Apple announced they ONLY sold a dreadful 5 million iPhone5's in 3 days; barely a touch more than the 4 million 4S's sold in the first 3 days last October; and professional analysts were expecting more to the tune of 8 million to 12 million units sold; there were even calls for 20 million sold. ONLY 5 million?? That's only HALF of what the majority of the analysts were expecting!!  What a fucking joke, right? Disappointing to say the least.  Apple must have problems with their supply chain. Could be the lack of demand for the new iPhone... This is BAD news. SELL AAPL.

In 2010, Foxconn reported they were producing a required 50 million iPhone 4s per annum.  That comes to about 137,000 iPhones made every day; 1.5 phones per second.  So, by the time you finish reading my little rant here, a bunch of Chinese kids, the same age as my own kids, has just pumped out 5 of these fuckers. 

Lunch at Foxconn

So, to sell the disappointing 5 million iPhones, these slaves that work at this factory took over 35 days to make them, taking into account, technology and on-job training has improved since 2010 and they are pumping out a rounded up figure of 140,000 iPhones a day now.  To make the expected 20 million iPhone5's, Foxconn still would have needed 5 months to make them. 

So, you asshat analysts were expecting something that gets made in an astonishing 5 months to be sold in 3 fucking days!!  And Apple expects to begin selling iPhone5's in 22 more countries by Friday... Are you dicksuckers just pulling numbers out of your ass now??? Have you seen the iPhone5?? It's not like they're making chicken McNuggets here...

Foxconn has got 78,000 workers in that iPhone factory alone. Upon thinking of all the problems we had at Shell on the AOSP job with only 10,500 workers and trying to keep them from quitting and fighting with each other, that little scuffle at the Foxconn barracks was sweet fuck all comparably. They have reopened the plant last night and are in full production again today. Foxconn also makes Kindles for Amazon, computers for Sony, Acer, and Microsoft, Motorola, Nokia, HP, Nintendo, Cisco, and Dell...

Only Apple can sell "much less" than these $500K per month analysts expect and still be "sold out".

Does this not tell you dicksuckers selling AAPL today MORE about the overbloated expectations of asshat analysts than the problems with Apple???

Something to think about.

More perspective: Samsung took 2 months to sell 10 million Galaxy S3's... 5 million iPhones in 3 days isn't so bad in my books...

Hockey Season is Upon Us...and I'd Like to Start the Year By PunchingYou Fuckers in the Face!!

In awe. Shellshocked. Flabbergasted. Stunned. Agog. Appalled. Blown the fuck away.

Just came back from our eldest kid's first hockey practice and team parents' meeting. And running through all of the above mentioned emotions...

A former coach of our kid, Jayden,  once told us that he probably wouldn't get a fair shake in evaluations until the PeeWee level because of his size and the fact he was a defenseman...

Never in a million years did I ever expect he would move UP from playing not bad, certainly not his best, evaluation scrimmages, to play in the group with a bunch of kids that got cut from the Rep team and most played tier 2 last year...

The kids at this level are bigger, faster, meaner, much more aggressive, and have no qualms about bashing their buddy's head into the boards... There were kids getting concussions in the evaluation games! Nice. Big difference from where our kid played last year...

The parents are not as loud as them vagabonds in the Novice and Atom levels but much more fucking cliquier...

While we are elated our kid placed on the highest tiered team he has ever landed in all the years he has played hockey, in his first year of Pee Wee, we're not so pleased we seemed to also have landed on the "money is no object when it comes to MY kid's hockey" team...

So with the extra ice time the coach ALREADY BOOKED FOR THE FUCKING YEAR, Jayden will be on the ice 6-7 times per week MINIMUM... Holee Crap! And the team wants to do 4 tournaments with a couple out of town tourneys this season; not necessarily in Phoenix, but at least one tourney where the kids get to stay in a hotel... And the team coaches has suggested they want to hire a fitness trainer/ nutrition consultant to aid in the kids' diet and training regimen... Operating budget goal for this season: $20,000.

Fuck me running sideways with a Zamboni up my ass, I haven't even been to Phoenix yet!

So what they're telling me is we can't find ANY teams to play hockey against in Western Canada?? You know, I think it's wonderful alot of you fuckers can go full retard to the upside in spoiling your child, but there are some of us that have more than one child in hockey as well.  In fact, my other son's Atom team's total budget for the season is $3600.00 with an initial cash call of $150.00; and that'll include some additional ice times, at least one tournament, and a year end party for the team. 

OK OK fine..., the money is one thing. Quit being such a fucking piker, Heisenberg. It's for your kid for fuck's sake! You got the cash. Fine. At a higher level of hockey, they need the ice time to groom them to get better and faster; I get that.

But for the love of straight men on Pinterest looking at home furnishings, where the fuck do you dicksuckers FIND THE TIME???

Doesn't anyone have a fucking real job?? Is EVERYONE self-employed and makes their OWN hours?? I guess all this is also a "write-off" too; which means pretty much "free" in Alberta for some reason.  So, WHEN the fuck do they fit in homework?? And supper for that matter???

Maybe it's just me but I could swear these kids are ages 11-12, and still not vying for spots to replace locked-out NHLers..

Fuck hiring a nutritionist, I'll vouch for a paid psychiatrist for all the psycho-hockey parents around these parts... it's gonna be a looong winter... I guess things could be worse.. I could be bitching about my kids getting pounded by guards at the Foxconn factory for rioting, but luckily they were born here in Canada; and for that we've got to put up with "hockey parents"...

AAPL is punching me in the fucking face this morning... over selling ONLY 5 million iPhone 5's in 3 fucking days in the US alone and all the bullshit at Foxconn... Still hanging on long as fuck despite the Costanza-esque selloff...

Good Morning.