Today is the wife's birthday....the big 4-0... which means to a great many of you reason to spend a good penny on lavish gifts for your loved ones. The plan this weekend is wine and dine like the sloths that we are in hopes to poison our bodies with fine food and cheap alcohol in celebration that I find myself officially married to old people...
But it is the wisest investment of all, if I might say so myself.
Without my wife, life would probably be much simpler living out the back of a catering truck, roaming the countryside with unbridled enthusiasm like a 10 year old boy discovering his first erection, drinking Monster Energy sodas and pushing senior citizens into oncoming traffic rather than dealing with money, stocks, Wall Street shit and such on a daily basis.... She is the very reason my bank accounts are like bottomless pits but by the same token, can also be zeroed within seconds upon the mercy of her eccentric caprices.
But, cash means fuck all when you can buy something that improves relations; and anything that improves relations also increases quality of life. And, we all know the price tag for quality of life is infinite; therefore, feel free to splurge every so often.
You see, as frugal as I am, I do know it is the miser who is miserable more often than not. And it is also the miser, mind you, who may die a rich man but also an ignorant and lonely man.
Some of you vagrants of less brain capacity and even lessor knowledge of the real world may feel it necessary to ridicule me as I show public affection for my wife, mostly because of my PG-rated verbiage and lewd behavior here. You see, I may not have morals befitting of your narrow-minded prejudices as currency is the only thing that matters in the world of high finance, but I can be quite the romantic you know.
So show some respect today, feel free to smother her with lavish attention and pollute her FaceBook wall with birthday wishes...
Happy Birthday Hunny!!
4/04/2012
4/02/2012
Canada: The Best? It's the Coke!
In recent news, MSM is touting Canada is "the best governed country" in the world after Harper's austerity budget was released... while other countries are revolting in disgust with their own government's austerity measures, we, like the good obedient Canadians that we are, will take it up the hoop as we always do....
It is obvious we must "be different here"... our housing bubble is 40% larger and household debt is at record levels far exceeding that of our US counterparts were when their bubble burst in 2007...
Yet for the love of midgets launched from cannons, despite those grotesque figures, most Canadians are either still bidding up homes awaiting another oncoming housing boom or on the sidelines, procuring fine granite and stainless steel, waiting for the opportunity to pounce on all the "cheap" homes that will come available upon the housing bubble finally bursting and all the grandeur it brings with it...
Thing is, whether housing corrects or not, everyone in Canada is still lapping up the Kool-Aid and buying up real estate based on pot lights and spray foam insulation; too ignorant to even notice the next credit crisis is ready to punch us all in the scrotum again.... student loans.
The US debt in student loans has surpassed a trillion dollars; and in Canada, less than 2 million people have over $22 billion in student loan debt...a problem caused by escalating tuitions and a weak job market in which students are graduating into at a time when generational low interest rates are the norm...
This is a burden that Graduates cannot walk away from as easily as a home default: In the US student debt is not covered under bankruptcy laws and Canadians do not fair much better as young grads must live with this burden for a minimum 7 years after they graduate before they can declare bankruptcy.... Couple this with the gong show in Ottawa's decision to remedy this via massive jobs cuts, new immigration, and foreign workers AND policies that necessitate Boomers and bed-shitters to work a few more years before they can retire but will still give them free money in OAS payments regardless of their income anyways..
But no worries here, it's all good -- let's not forget what's really important to us all here--home prices are UP, CBC's funds are getting cut off, and the penny is toast....FINALLY!!! The "best run government" indeed.. BRING ON THE WHISKEY AND HOOKERS!!!
April is upon us already marking the end of the BEST first quarter the stock market has seen since 1998...
Please do not question me as to why the markets keep going up if everything is so awful in the real world....because I will simply reply "Cocaine my friend, now fuck right off..."
It is obvious we must "be different here"... our housing bubble is 40% larger and household debt is at record levels far exceeding that of our US counterparts were when their bubble burst in 2007...
Yet for the love of midgets launched from cannons, despite those grotesque figures, most Canadians are either still bidding up homes awaiting another oncoming housing boom or on the sidelines, procuring fine granite and stainless steel, waiting for the opportunity to pounce on all the "cheap" homes that will come available upon the housing bubble finally bursting and all the grandeur it brings with it...
Thing is, whether housing corrects or not, everyone in Canada is still lapping up the Kool-Aid and buying up real estate based on pot lights and spray foam insulation; too ignorant to even notice the next credit crisis is ready to punch us all in the scrotum again.... student loans.
The US debt in student loans has surpassed a trillion dollars; and in Canada, less than 2 million people have over $22 billion in student loan debt...a problem caused by escalating tuitions and a weak job market in which students are graduating into at a time when generational low interest rates are the norm...
This is a burden that Graduates cannot walk away from as easily as a home default: In the US student debt is not covered under bankruptcy laws and Canadians do not fair much better as young grads must live with this burden for a minimum 7 years after they graduate before they can declare bankruptcy.... Couple this with the gong show in Ottawa's decision to remedy this via massive jobs cuts, new immigration, and foreign workers AND policies that necessitate Boomers and bed-shitters to work a few more years before they can retire but will still give them free money in OAS payments regardless of their income anyways..
But no worries here, it's all good -- let's not forget what's really important to us all here--home prices are UP, CBC's funds are getting cut off, and the penny is toast....FINALLY!!! The "best run government" indeed.. BRING ON THE WHISKEY AND HOOKERS!!!
April is upon us already marking the end of the BEST first quarter the stock market has seen since 1998...
Please do not question me as to why the markets keep going up if everything is so awful in the real world....because I will simply reply "Cocaine my friend, now fuck right off..."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)