No Such Thing as "Easy Money"...

My ol' man once told me long ago, 'even if money grew on trees, you'd still have a sore back at the end of the day picking up all that fucking cash off the ground'... Moral of the story: There's no such thing as "easy money".

So did you OTB dice-rolling charlatan dicksuckers really think it'd be that easy to make money here? Just buy AAPL on the dip and we go to all time cocaine highs again, just like that?

Well Buck-O, if price technicals means anything at all, perhaps you need to take a look-see at the chart... looking at all the overhead resistance against us, you've got better odds throwing snake eyes with expired lotto tickets and dead hookers on the table today...

Time to get the fuck back to work...

Welcome Aboard the Cocaine Express...

Well, it looks like we printed that bullish reversal hammer bouncing off the 100DMA that EVERYONE was looking for and happen to call yesterday... And judging how positive the AAPL stream is on Stocktwits, it looks like we'll be snorting eight balls off escorts before long now...

It never ceases to amaze me how EVERYONE on the stream bought in at the exact bottom of $623.55..; just like how everyone shorted AAPL at the "top" at $705.07,  simply by drawing a few gay trend lines on the chart... Fuck me,  I've been buying stocks since Elton John was straight, and I have yet to perfectly time any trade as of yet... I'm always too early or too fucking late.. But you fuckers... you guys should be flipping million dollar homes in Calgary, Alberta with that kind of genius!

Now hold your fucking horses for a second, I'm not much of a Technical Analysis guy but as a degenerate riverboat gambler not wanting to get surprise sex up my Doug Kass, shouldn't there be confirmation of this trend reversal, such as taking out yesterday's highs of $640.49 while not breaching yesterday's lows before going all in?? 

The thing is,  looking at the pre-market, AAPL is looking to gap UP and not wanting to sound like some vagrant bearshitter, what I am seeing blocking our way to heaven and more, is former all-time highs as resistance; though I feel it will not pose much resistance as it wasn't much support when we went through it.  The major resistance will be at the $652.00 area, which incidentally is also the 38.2% Fibbonacci Retracement support from the July low AND coincides with the 50DMA (once major support). 

Giving my respect to vagrant options guys who control the markets, cocaine highs aren't gonna be that easy. Getting over that wall of OI Calls at the 650 strike is like bringing a Galaxy S3 to a gunfight... but what the fuck do I know?  I'm just rolling dice here... still justifying why I bought too early AGAIN.

Good Luck in all your trades.

Now Awaiting to Hit Bottom...

As I indicated yesterday I picked some more AAPL longs on my dip buy triggers.. perhaps a little hasty but with AAPL being down 11 of 14 days now, including this morning's grape raping,  I do expect a bottom may be put in within the next few days;  and there is now a greater fear of missing out getting aboard the Cocaine Express to Nirvana than there is Apple Armafuckingeddon...

Sure enough as my order filled at $638.00, AAPL knifed down lower kicking yours truly in the nut sack... In all honesty I would rather scratch my eyeballs out with a broken hockey stick dipped in HF acid than sit through one of these fucking AAPL corrections while watching all the baby monkeys run amok over the Internets spouting the end of Apple again and pulling stupid numbers out of their asses... But it is what it is...

We are currently still toying with AAPL former all-time highs as support; but I don't think this will hold as it was only hit once and broke through with ease in August. If we don't get a bounce here and happen to go further down the elevator shaft, this is what I'm looking at:

As seen above,  former resistance just under the $620 level would act as greater support. Which also coincides with AAPL's 100 DMA seen below.

As we can see in the above chart, AAPL tended to favorably V-bounce off its 100 Day MA on several occasions in this past year. In addition, this 100DMA price is also in the range of the 50% Fibbonacci Retracement levels and former resistance as seen in the first chart....

Hence my reasoning, we are closing in on a bottom, especially as this would also price AAPL with a PE of 14.5 using last Q's TTM numbers. 

But then again, what the fuck do I know; I'm just killing time now, experimenting with my patience levels via lighting sticks of dynamite and making excuses, trying to justify my dip buy yesterday as everyone else does on Stocktwits, awaiting on the bounce to cocaine highs...

It's Time... Here We Go...BUY AAPL

Alas, it is time once again to place testicles on the chopping block whilst speed dicing onions and playing landmines hot potato...... my OVERSOLD triggers hav been hit as per my last post;  setting timestamps on 'Fuck you'... BUY.

Is It Time to Buy AAPL?

So here we are at the 50 Day MA again... second time in a week.. where are all you fucktards now claiming you "shoulda woulda coulda" got in when it hit the 50DMA 2 days earlier than Friday's close??

Yeah, typical fucking all yap and no flap bullshit. It's the end of AAPL as we know it AGAIN; it has topped and could hit $00.00 by earnings call on Oct 25th...  with all the negativity on AAPL lately, it's hard not to get sucked in; I know that feeling well. Who hasn't shit their pants long AAPL through a correction?.. Look at all the fuck you we're all dead headlines.. from the bearish doji stars to head and shoulders formations to the 50day MA breakdowns to "Mapplegate" to Foxconn workers striking to Samsung trials to Doug Fucking Kass beaking off... the peer pressure is sometimes overwhelming.

And can there be a more bearish chart? Just look at that nasty ass chart with that bitch of a candle that broke through the 50 Day Moving Average and the head and shoulders neckline like a flaming knife through butter in an elevator without cables flying down a shaft... and we all know the 50DayMA is THE dividing line between a technically healthy stock and one ready for the fucking shitter...and the Head and Shoulders pattern is the end-all be-all most reliable and most often seen uptrend reversal technical indicators...  Fuck me, how about I just blow my brains out right the fuck now???

Now before you degenerate OTB guys start making some asshatish decisions, let's analyze this fucking shit further...

Fundamentally, there's still no better stock than AAPL. They have stupid as fuck amounts of cash, they make stupid as fuck amounts of cash and will continue to make stupid as fuck amounts of cash despite how much you dicksuckers need to justify that Samsung with the retardo big screen purchase you just bought... Andy Zaky describes AAPL's future best  and slams asshat CNBC chronic AAPL bear Doug Kass while he's at it..

Technically, I'm no technical analysis guy.. if you want to see some Grey's Anatomy-style surgery-like precision in Technical Analysis mastery at its finest,  I highly recommend you check out @ChessNwine or @RaginCajun's blogs..

What I do know about technical analysis, is its most basic premise is HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF in definable patterns and trends that can be seen in charts...

So, looking at AAPL's history with the 50 DMA, we see it has broken through the 50 Day 19 times in the last 2 years.

But of all the times it has broken through the 50DMA, only 4 times since the 2009 lows has AAPL's share price ever fell more than 10% more from its 50Day breach price...

Now if history were to repeat itself as per technical analysis and an average 8% drop were to ensue from its current 50DMA price it printed on Friday's close, an absolute bottom max drop of $50 or to the $602.00 could be seen from its current price.  So all you asshats calling for $300 by next week can go fuck your hat...

As far as the head and shoulders bullshit is concerned, we can see from the following long term chart,  AAPL tends to punch those technical indicators of a top in the fucking face then spits on them... just as it does with stochastic divergences and other fucktarded lagging indicators...

For myself, I have never been able to take profits on AAPL shares with any success, nor have I ever made money shorting AAPL...WHY?

Answer: I can never call the top...  every time I feel I've got the technicals down pat or let the CNBC dicksuckers get the best of me, I end up losing my shares only to watch AAPL go on a cocaine gorilla run for the ages... In fact, there's only one person I can think of who has done it with any success, implied or imaginary; a certain TF fellow on Stocktwits, shorted the  entire recent 140 handle tit-rip to all-time highs via drawing a few simple trendlines and trips to the beach...


Since the desolate days of 2008/ 2009 lows, AAPL has been by far the easiest stock to buy on dips and hold.  Every single pullback in share price has been the buying opportunity of a lifetime to add more shares...   And, I find I am a much better dip buyer when it comes to AAPL than I am as a breakout buyer...

Don't get me wrong, some of these fucking pullbacks have been difficult to sit through, and they feel like clawhammers to the face and chest when they happen, and can last seemingly forever.. Fuck, the $424.88 to $361.77 pullback of 2011 (-14.85%), and the $641.25 to $519.95 pullback of earlier this year (-19.92%) both took an egregious 6 weeks to complete!

But, both also were subsequently followed up by runaway cocaine trains to the upside; from $361.77 to $641.25 (+77.25%) and from $519.95 to $705.07 (+35.60%)! 


So is it time to buy now??

What I have found successful using technicals is when AAPL share price hits the bottom Bollinger Band, the CCI and RSI (9) indicates oversold levels at the same time.. so on the following chart:

Answer: No.

Not yet, according to my rules.

I'd like to see all 3 indicators trigger 'oversold' before adding to my existing longs.  So near $611-$640 range, all 3 should trigger oversold but also those numbers show a bounce off the 61.8% Fibbonacci Retracement from the July lows and 50% from the May lows.. In addition, AAPL's PE would be below 15 using last Q's TTM numbers....  And anything in the 13-14 PE range, it seems to trigger all the HFT machines and Fund Guys and MM's alarms to buy AAPL with retarded conviction..so I would expect a violent bounce if AAPL gets to these levels...

In all honesty, I have no fucking idea where the market is going nor do I know where AAPL share price is going... if I did, you think I'd be here spending stupid as fuck amounts of time looking at charts while entertaining the likes of you fuckfaces?? If it were that easy to predict the future, I'd be fixing flux capacitors or reading tea leaves and tarot cards in some KGB bathhouse...

In the meantime I'm satisfied knowing what I'll do if AAPL decides knifes down lower....But if it heads back to heaven and then some, I'll be just as happy selling covered calls for stupid as fuck amounts of cash while I await another dip buying opportunity...


Disclaimer: Stupid as fuck long AAPL; hedged with covered calls.

Giving My Thanks To LTE.....

It's Canadian Thanksgiving and as a holiday tradition, what better way to spend the long weekend fucking around with your brand spanking new iPhone 5?

As of Oct. 1st, Rogers has FINALLY set up LTE speeds in Edmonton, AB.  But by the 2nd, Rogers LTE already crashed.  Typical fucking Rogers.  But it's back up and running again and time to see what kind of speeds this LTE is capable of...

Since I purchased my 3rd Gen iPad, I've only seen what LTE is capable of, ONCE-- when I was in Calgary last April, I happened to stumble on it for about 2 minutes on my iPad... and boy was it fucking fast! 

So finally with my iPhone 5, and LTE in my hometown of Buttfuck, Alberta, I am hearing speeds close to WiFi is capable.

Without further ado... using an iPhone 5; 64GB, unlocked via Rogers LTE plan:

City of Edmonton Free Public WiFi at Callingwood Arena... for comparison sake and just because I happen to be spending a fuck of a lot of time recently there with hockey season in full swing now... 3.40 Mbps Download Speed.

From the City of Edmonton free WiFi in Callingwood Arena

From my house, west -end Edmonton; courtesty of Telus home Internet WiFi— The High Speed Turbo Package (advertised up to 15 Mbps Download speeds.. though I have yet to see those speeds but still better than the typical 6Mbps standard packages of most Canadian providers offer)...

WiFi from my house...

Same location on the Rogers network using 3G... 14.55Mbps Download speeds...


3G from my house...

And LTE... so far my best download speed is a tit-ripping 30.57Mbps... but on average throughout the city I am hitting averages over the 27Mbps mark:

LTE from my house..

Not too shabby. Though the record I have seen across Canada is over 60Mbps in Brampton, ON on the Rogers network...  And for comparison, these are the 3G speeds I get near work.. the Suncor Refinery in Sherwood Park, AB:  a dismal 1.57Mbps...

3G near work...

So there you have it... downloading porn and your stupid Facebook friends' updates have never been faster on an iPhone...