My Kid is Destined To Manage Money...

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."
-Steve Jobs

Indeed, the last bastion of original thought belongs to small children and psychopaths. I had no idea until recently how fine that line was between them...

 I found a comicbook my 9 year old drew a couple of years ago...


In his own words he outlined the plot to me: Apparently there are two worlds: Ninja World and Man- Death World.. the battles happen in Man-Death World and all the cool stuff is located in Ninja World. Notice all the 'red' accents depicting battles and death...and strangely enough a teleporter in the background..

Aaah yes... the brilliant mind of a 7-year old! As you can see my son is destined to manage money.  Little did I know at the time he is becoming quite the sage in predicting daily stock market action in his pictures of death and battles...
Notice how his comicbook here looks awfully familiar to the Fly's iBC patented "cock and balls" formation in 2011??


It's all about Bernanke this morning.... For the love of small dogs with gay haircuts jumping thru flaming hoops, can you believe there are more tweets about Bernanke on Stocktwits right now than $AAPL!!

There are only three possible outcomes of all this hoopla... cocaine in rapidly spinning ceiling fans, death by bunga bunga, and Costanza dick chop action... trade accordingly addicts...  

Here are your AAPL stuff you may want to look at today.. Max Pain: looking for a 665 pin today...

Open interest: I would expect AAPL to trade near the lower end of the 650-670 strikes today despite what you are seeing in pre-market trading right now... This of course may change depending any fucktarded news of POMO or Armageddon out of Jackson's Hole this morning...


Good luck in all your trades...

UPDATE: "Apparently it doesn't matter: Stocks are trading up with or without QE. Life is one giant Costanza trade." -The Fly.

AAPL trading today accordingly to options manipulation like a well oiled machine... UP on Mondays/ Tuesdays (peak share pricing for the week); DOWN Thursday/ Friday (lows hitting bottom Friday morning)... still looking to pin the $665 pin as weeklies expire today... then off to the races into the iPhone 5 announcement...


If You Insist... AAPL

It's amusing watching all you fucktards talking shit while playing pinless hand grenade hot potato with flaccid dicks today.

But if you insist on rammiing the entire fucking crack pipe down your throat before Jackson's Hole does you that favour but thru the other side... or if you can't help yourself because you are indeed a vagrant OCD OTB guy at Binion's hopped up on the sauce, trying to get an edge on AAPL , here's what you may want to look at:

Your Fibonacci Retracement Values:

23.6% Retracement Value $654.13

38.2% Retracement Value $637.59

50.0% Retracement Value $624.21

61.8% Retracement Value $610.84

If the SPX decides to give us the fuck you, we're all dead look, peeps are predicting on twitter, AAPL tends to respond well bouncing off the 50% retracement levels, so $624.21... Plus if you're looking to get long and chase this shit up on a bounce, today's action only sees AAPL still working off some overbought conditions from its recent tit rip.

Just remember if you are thinking of staying short, iPhone 5 announcement is due Sept. 12th and here's a look at what AAPL does before its product announcements..



Long or short, an important rule I keep is ya gotta pay your due respect to them degenerate options guys... So, looking at the Max Pain OI chart, it looks like AAPL is not trading anything out of the odrdinary today in terms of options manipulation... share price tends to move away rom the highest open interest so I'd expect AAPL to float nicely between the $660 and $680 peaks.

Good luck in all your trades....

Let Me Clarify a Few Things...

This morning I am merely a voyeur watching markets with animalistic perversion and a material witness to all you dicksuckers talking shit over the Internets.  I await delivery of cocaine or Armafuckingeddon upon Jackson's Hole, hedged with retardo longs in AAPL, a half position of V and VHC longs and a few fucktarded Canadian energy shares paying me a pikerish monthly dividend.

So to kill some time, I'd like to clarify a few things this morning regarding my last post.  Upon celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary yesterday with the usual pomp and circumcision, my wife pointed out to me my 'math' was a tad "skewed" and we wouldn't want any of you fuckers reading my posts to think my imagination has run amok into the regions of the far-fetched or anything. So I post the following as an addendum:

$7 for a new outfit from the Old Navy for the
1 kid that fell into the West Edmonton Mall water fountain.
32 times, my youngest has asked for a snack in the last hour and
30 minutes since he finished his last meal and left half of it on his plate
1 pound of bacon is the recommended dosage required for full healing effect.
18 different Costcos we visited during our last
2 week road trip vacation
83 times I threatened to stop the van and they were gonna walk home if they don't shut the fuck up back there between Spokane and the California border....
5 more days until the rugrats go back to school!!

Now there were a few questions and comments I received yesterday as most readers are probably wondering, like how the fuck did they flip an entire shopping cart? Ambulances and child services?

Not that I have to justisfy to any of you fuckfaces about our "creative parenting" methods, but I just wanted to clarify a few things before we get another surprise visit from child services. 

Firstly I'd like to say, fuck you.  I'll have you know we're not like you assholes talking shit online and posting drivel on Facebook, looking for pity 'Likes' from all your peers; shit such as, how much you'll be "missing the company of your darling kids when they go back to school". You see, we happen to know Mr. XBOX is their real parents and bribing your kid with a shopping spree at Justice or A&F is the usual form of discipline in your household.  How dare you judge us?

Creativity run amok...

I, like any parent, want my kids to run wild and their creativity to flow freely for as long as they can,  protecting them from the harsh reality that they will eventually face when they grow older... Who doesn't?

I'd love to tell you my kids are the sweetest of angels with icing and unicorns on top, but they're not. My kids, I swear on your two eyes, they have been spawned from the very loins of Beelzebub, and are whacked out of their fucking minds, head smash against the wall psychopathic lunatical coke-addled baby monkeys jacked on a consistent diet of sugar and Kraft dinner with hot dog weiners. I’m seriously tempted to have built-in marijuana-laced ritalin IV machines installed in each of their bedrooms, but I am told by some 'experts' this is common and actually healthy among families that have 3 boys. I for one would like to see their studies first hand;  when you are told by the kid’s playschool teacher that he is learning great new words such as “confiscate”, it has got me wondering…

I have to admit my ideas on parenting and the kind of parents, we want to be is a far cry from what I used to think before we had kids. In the beginning, we wanted to do everything perfectly for our child; now with 3 boys, things will tend to get a wee bit hectic in our home-- it's all about getting done what keeps us out of jail... you know,  shit like feeding them, paying for heating bills, not hurting them, an so on...

Don't get me wrong or anything, I happen to like my kids, so along with those above mentioned basic necessities, we tend to throw in a few extra perks such as love, interest, and doing shit with them once in a while...

As far as flipping the shopping cart upside-down, believe me when I tell you this, my son at that age didn't 'think' he was Spiderman, he 'knew' he was Spiderman.  And bad things tend to happen when your kid is indeed Spiderman bored out of his fucking mind, sitting in the child seat of a shopping cart while you just so happen to turn away for a split second to put items from your cart onto the conveyor belt... no harm done. The entire cart flipped over top of him and he ended up in the basket part, penned up like a stuck pig...

Good Morning and trade 'em well...


Fourteen Years and Counting...

"For better or for worse." Those words sounds pretty romantic don't they? Almost magical, on our wedding day.  Little did I know just how real they would become over the course of our marriage.

Doing some of the math:
20 years together 
14 years of marriage 
1 mortgage. 
18 records of employment that year alone and 
3 years of tax receipts to qualify for said mortgage. 
7 years to pay off that mortgage. 
3 miscreants committed to violence every time they are within 
6 feet of each other. 
1 broken leg, broken in 
3 different places. Not mine. Changed my life in EVERY way. 
1 emergency trip in an ambulance to discover 
1 peanut allergy, the hard way.  
1 black eye leading to 
2 policemen at the door and 
1 child services visit and 
0 apologies for the bogus accusation.  Fuckers.
1 shopping cart flipping upside-down at the WalMart, with the 
2-year old in it. 
1 kid lost at the flea market for a 
10 scary seconds. 
1 more kid lost at a downtown parade for the 
10 scariest minutes of our lives. 
5875 km or 
3619.5 miles driving like a bat out of hell to NorCal & back. 
$790.00 CDN in gas to do it. Not bad at all. 
5 peeps still in the van, 
0 body bags used on this trip. 

And here we are. Older than at the beginning, a little less hair and a few extra pounds. Wiser and much more tainted from battle scars and open flesh wounds. A lot more sleep deprived, a bit less spontaneous, but truly stronger than ever.

What's the secret, we're often asked...

Well, I'm gonna tell you.

It's not IF, but WHEN you fuck up, go eat.  In my house, there are only 2 reasons in which either one of us will get angry.  Either I'm acting like a fucking jackass, or someone is a little hungry and I'm acting like a fucking jackass.  Go eat. Preferably bacon or something with bacon in it or just bacon.  Works every time. And don't ever forget the coffee.  She loves coffee.  I never touch the stuff.

On August 29, 1998,  I was blessed to have had the opportunity to sucker another human being into thinking I was non-psychotic enough to marry me and all my multiple online personalities.  Fuck, I even bet half of all my shit she wouldn't hate me in the next 25 years.  But then again, I also bet $20K Facebook shares would also trade up after the IPO, so I'm assuming waking up next to the horse's head one day isn't out of the question yet.

Over the years, we have been through immense highs and soul-crushing lows and a whole lot of bacon. And through it all, we are still here.  Still standing.  Still laughing.  Still eating bacon.

And still in love.

Happy Anniversary, hunny.


Calling the Top in AAPL... You Heard It Here...

That's right, you heard correctly. A top in AAPL.  A potential top anyways... and it has nothing to do with stupid valuations, fucked up PE ratios, homosexual trendlines, Steve Jobs is sick again rumours, options manipulation, @TraderFlorida, global Armafuckingeddon, or that dumbass patent case... this is all based on gut feeling and opinion.

@Zenhunter made an interesting call on RIMM yesterday on his blog post that caught my attention..his call that RIMM is in a very interesting position right now to take advantage of Samsung's setback in losing to AAPL in its latest infringment case.

I haven't looked at RIMM seriously in a very long time. I mean I know of many a Crackberry fanboy and love to engage in mortal combat with animalistic fervor every now and then as to why they're still fucked.  I owned RIMM and loved what they had going for them many an eon ago.. And not because I'm a Canadian and it's "the Canadian thing" to do. 

I initially got into RIMM at a cool $65 per share pre-split in 2007.. rode it up, captured the 3 for 1 split on Aug 27, 2007 and let it hit my stop of $120.00 post-split early November, of that same year. I had every intention of getting back in, as RIMM was on top and its potential seemed limitless at the time. In fact, I still remember kicking myself hard when it ripped tits all the way up to $140 early in 2008.

But then the big crash to end all crashes occurred and I was too busy treading in shitsoup, catching falling knives in AAPL, and wallowing in fucktarded stocks in potash and oil, to muster the kahonas to buy back into RIMM at the time. I always kept a watchful eye on them, hopeful to get buy back in when I finally recouped all my fucking money back from literally blowing myself up in 2008, as I knew mobile and smartphones would be the next wave or bubble to catch.

On that faithful day on Oct 25th, 2010, they announced the Playbook, Gut instinct told me this was going to be RIMM's ultimate demise. Why? This was indeed the day I felt RIMM had decided to stop leading the pack via innovating the things they did best like BBM and dinky little 2-handed keyboards, and START FOLLOWING AAPL into the tablet market.  Plus, their CEO focusing all his undivided attention trying to acquire an NHL hockey team didn't help their cause at the time either. Indeed, I was right; I didn't call "the top" exactly to the second but I nailed "the end".

In the last couple of days, AAPL confirmed an iPad Mini is going to be released sometime in October. And, I will be keeping my eye on this closely.


Now I have no doubt in my mind Apple will make egregious amounts of cash and add zillions into their already massive coffers from this new product alone. But unless this iPad Mini is something "revolutionary" and not JUST a smaller version of the iPad or one big ass iPod Touch, THIS event I believe this will be 'the top' in Apple and all its glory.  Yes, pundits have been consistently wrong and calling the top in AAPL since it hit the 100 roll and have been de-cocked and violently executed since and I do hope AAPL proves me wrong.

I do truly believe Apple has the next great product sitting under their very noses, whether it be China Mobile, virtual wallet, 3G iPod Nanos or iWatch, or 3G iPod Touches, I just don't believe the iPad Mini is it, despite what all you fucktarded analysts think and all you fanboys jerking off all over yourselves on news of a Mini, are spewing all over the Internets lately.

With Google sporting its fancy new Google TiSP and Cloud technology and MSFT with its Kinect and its potential to do crazy-assed  'Ironman' computer shit, responding with an oversized iPod Touch jacked to the tits on the sauce is not the answer I'm looking for in my books.  It will also prove to me they ARE more interested in going "thermonuclear" with GOOG in the courtroom and would rather follow those already in the 7" market like AMZN and Samsung now, instead of leading the pack with innovation and creativity, just as RIMM did in 2010...

Now if Apple were to follow up in Steve Jobs-esce style, just like when the public was all hot and bothered over 'netbooks' at the time, and Steve replied with a "fuck you dickwad, netbooks are for suckers" and then proceeded with giving us the first 'ultra-book', the Macbook Air instead... now THAT would be a whole different ballgame.... 

Personally I'd much rather see an iPhone Mini release.. I mean weren't cel phones getting smaller before the iPhone came out in 2007?? Isn't that whole point to being 'mobile'?? What's the deal with these fucking big screen TVs everyone is toting in their pockets these days??  Talk about turning back the hands of time...  For the love of monkeys in Shriners hats riding around on uni-cycles, we keep on going like this, we might as well be putting our fucking laptops to our ears like a big-assed Startac...  "Can you hear me now??"

The top in AAPL may no occur right away as it didn't in RIMM either, but in this day an age, if a tech company isn't innovating, they're already dead. And if AAPL isn't leading the pack... I'm out.
In the meantime, I'll sit back and enjoy the ride whilst awaiting the delivery of cocaine and we'll soon see what Apple has to offer...


Don't Sweat the Small Stuff?? Fuck You...

Take it from Leo Getz: "Don't ever go up to the drive-thru; always walk up to the counter...You know why? Because they FUCK YOU at the drive-thru!!"

I don't know if this has ever happened to you or "they're" just out to get me...But this happens to me alot and it is really starting to fucking irk me...

I roll up to the drive-thru window, order the shit that I know will be the cause of my death, much sooner than later, but I'm hungrier than fuck and there's no way anyone is gonna stop this runaway locomotive now; plus have YOU ever tried backing the fuck out of a drive-thru window once you've drove in?? Anyways, I hand the punk kid drive-thru guy my money and await patiently for the 2 cents he owes me in change.

Not that I own one of those gay fucking change purses or 'man bags' you see these 'metro' fuckers are carrying around town these days, but I have become pretty proficient in finding the correct change on the floor or in the seats of the minivan. Now I mind you I am fairly adept at math, being of Asian descent and University educated and all, the amount I hand over is usually in close range of what I owe, sometimes really close; most times exactly, because that's how I roll...

The drive-thru guy then hands me my food I've ordered and says, "Have a nice day.." completely skipping his end of the money transaction of handing over my change, and avoiding eye contact obviously knowing he has just skiffed me on my 2 cents!

I just then come to the realization that what we're dealing with here is a shrewd minded criminal working on his master plan to rip every cash paying customer by pennies, so at the end of the day, he makes off with his $4 bucks of tax free cashola! That Mother Fucker!!

What the fuck is this world coming to anyways??

Did I miss the memo involving new policies in consumer transactions where a nominal "tip" is automatically tacked on the total sum of the bill, whether you know about it or not?? I do realize the Canadian government is trying to do away with the penny and we, Albertans, have become quite the self-entitled, self-centred assholes since the last oil boom, but is there a new entitlement tax now I am unaware of??  Have we become such a society practicing such degeneracy that we have become so fucking lazy it's not worth our while to return MY two cents? Or is it because we've all become so dependent on using credit and debit cards, that we have actually forgotten how cash works?

In addition, I do not especially appreciate the identity crisis I am now faced with every time this happens.  Am I the type of piker who stews over 2 cents?? I mean seriously, the reason I work so hard to acquire wealth and money is so I don't have to put up with the bullshit of haggling over a $4000 kitchen table or a $5000 flat screen TV in the first place... So is my dignity worth taking a financial hit of mere pennies??

Now you're probably thinking, geez..it's only two cents buddy...mere pennies... I mean if it was me behind that window, I would be thinking, "Fuck dude, relax, it's only a couple of pennies... times must be tough or what, buddy..."

Now, what if the drive-thru guy scams you for $5? $20? $100?  Let's say you use your debit card or credit card instead and the drive-thru guy skims it with another magnetic stripe reader he has stashed under the counter so he can wipe out your entire net worth by tomorrow?? How about huckster bankers fudging numbers to the tune of $50 billion before releasing any financial statements?

But this is different you say? How the fuck can you compare Lehman and the drive-thru window at McDonald's, to each other?  The Lehman scam involved egregious sums of money...millions, billions, trillions of dollars we're talking here; wiping out the global economy as we know it..  while the drive-thru..'mere' pennies.


So when you dickwads, talk shit like, "it's bullshit Apple can have patents for little nuances as a rectangular shape with rounded corners..", "I can't believe something as little as 'pinch and zoom' , Apple is fretting over..", " Note to Apple. I have a TV with runded edges and one that is rectangular, and I've seen round and square TVs in the past. Your move..", "patents should be abolished...they inhibit innovation..", you obviously think it's utter bullshit everyone making a such big deal of patents and some pretty minut details on a fucking phone... So Samsung should get off without consequences then over such small and foolish details such as patents?

Oh look..Dipshit is at it again...

Well, this involve billions of dollars too. How is this so different than Lehman?

Because it's not. It's the principle of it, fuckface.  It's not about rounded bezels or pinch zooming or rectangular shapes.  Stealing is still stealing no matter how small or big the amount.

If you disagree, then NO ONE should wonder as to why NOT one fucking charge has been brought against anyone regarding the biggest bankruptcy in US history??

Time to start "sweating the small stuff"... and I'm not your "buddy"..

The Verdict is In, and You Are An Asshat!

If you haven't heard already because you so happen to live under a fucking rock or was lying face down in the mud, too inebriated from drinking your face off to check the news on your iPhone, Apple has been awarded $1.05 billion in damages after a ruling from a US court that Samsung "willfully" infringed on 6 of 7 Apple patents.

After the decision was announced,  AAPL share price ripped to the upside printing all time highs in after hours trading,  the news media went balls out psycho tapping furiously on their keyboards like coke-addled baby monkeys in Shriners hats, spreading the news and touting how this verdict is going to change the entire industry towards Apple's favor...

The News Media in its finest hour...

Apple fanboys around the globe cheered with glee, AND are still rejoicing, doing lines of blow atop the finest Hollywood hookers with Sherlock Holmes pipes and hollering at the top of their lungs, while sashaying in the streets like porn stars with two erect dicks, dressed up in clown suits riding unicycles, beating their chests with both fists in between doing Jersey Shore fist pumps,  Tebows,  and high fiving each other, Top-Gun-style...

Meanwhile the 'anti-Apple' crowd went full retard Hulking rage temper tantrum, turning green and shit, purple pants and all, ripping their shirts off, throwing furniture and hissy fits around, ready "to go" with anyone and everyone full contact octagon-style, whilst eating sour grapes and smashing their middle fingers against their 'big screen TV' Samsung phones, crying like the litte bitches they are and talking shit over the internets, on how unfair and what BS the decision was... 

It was simply amazing just how much shit was posted all over the blogosphere and twitter by all the "hardcore" Samsung lovers out there:
"Apple won but the consumer lost", "be prepared to pay more for your smartphones", "it's crap that Apple has a patent for rectangular device with rounded corners", "the judge was paid off by Apple", "Apple chose to have court dominance rather than compete",  "the verdict was anti-competition, anti-consumer", "unfortunate that patent law can be manipulated", "a reasonable judge will overturn this on appeal", "There is an Apple-boycott campaign underway",  "Apple stole from Palm, these patents are ridiculous", "if IBM sued like Apple, Apple wouldn't exist today", "Apple just killed innovation", "Apple took Samsung to court so they wouldn't have to lower their price", "AAPL going to crash to $500.00"... 
And the list goes on...

Even billionaire Mark Cuban @mcuban got in on the shitshow, proving to the entire world he has no clue about the history of computers and even all the money in the world could not change the fact he is just another asshat with a gay Samsung phone.  So suddenly all this patent shit is bullshit because Apple won??  Hold it.  Doesn't Cuban own 7.4% of patent troll VRNGan entire business based upon suing companies over patents?? But I'm sure you got no problem if VRNG wins their suit against Google. Yeah. Asshat. And a hypocritical douchebag to boot.

What a sorry exhibition it was....Seriously,  are you that fucking blind??  You mean to tell me Apple has no influence on Samsung products whatsoever?? Even their stores are copied!!  Click on the link and see for yourself!! 

How I personally feel about this whole ordeal is exactly how Bob Lefsetz so eloquently said it  on Barry Ritholtz's blog:

"As for the Samsung Galaxy products… If you don’t think they’re a rip-off of Apple gear, you’re truly blind.
And this is about everything musicians rail about. Copyrights. Only in this case, it’s called patents. Can someone steal with impunity?
Then again, patents don’t last forever.
But can you ride the back of someone else’s hard work and innovation to riches? Can someone copy your CD at no cost? If you don’t think so, then you must come down on the side of Apple in this lawsuit, however much you hate the Cupertino company.
And in this case, it was the best against the best. And the judge was a hoot, she’d take no gruff, she didn’t lose control of her courtroom. Hell upon seeing Apple’s witness list, she asked the company’s barristers if they were smoking crack!
And I don’t want to get into a lengthy discussion of whether patent protection should exist, I’ll just say there were rules. And Samsung broke them, just like Lance Armstrong."

The lengthy discussion on patents and patent laws is for another day. The thing is I am trying to comprehend is why these Samsung "fanboys", or rather 'Apple haters' get so fucking wound up over anything about Apple??  I mean, how many shares of Samsung do YOU own?? None? Of course not! You can't even buy shares of it on this side of the world! Believe me, I've tried.  I personally like their business and they make such great copies of Sony TVs...

Oh.. So you JUST own a Samsung phone? And perhaps a TV.. Good on you...   So you spend this much energy and passion playing this game of "my dick is bigger than your dick" ONLY to justify your smartphone purchase...wow.

So, in what OTHER way does this verdict affect you? So I'm guessing that "evil empire" that is Apple can now 'legally' use the force to make all Samsung smartphones suddenly shut down, crawl up your ass, and spontaneously explode??  Or are you just mad because you already know you fucked up locking in to a 3-year contract for an obsolete phone?? Well,  not to worry that new HTC or Motorola RAZR smartphone release is just around the corner...   Because that's how much loyalty Samsung owners have...  And who the fuck cares anyways?? As if anyone gives a fuck and was going to suddenly change their mind because of YOUR fucktarded opinion on patents, throw their entire iTunes music collection they've been building since 2001 out the window, and run out and buy the new fucking Sony Xperia....

Yes, I am biased towards AAPL. I hold stupid-as-fuck amounts of AAPL stock, as well as I'm locked in for life into the Apple ecosystem.  And yes, this verdict means something to me because it just paid for my next iMac, iPhone 5, iPad Mini, and kids' university education (actually that's not entirely true; the ramp up from $85 to $200 paid for all that Apple gear).  At least them Crackberry guys have an argument. Most of them are loyal to their brand and probably own shares in RIMM; and they're freaking out because their shares are going to $00.00... I can respect that. I can see why they would want to defend their precious smartphone purchase.  But you Samsung guys... You guys are asshats. Just like Mark.