Don't Bother About Upgrading To the iPhone 5...

My 5 is on the truck for delivery since 4:32AM this morning...

And from all the complaints from everyone I know who has never owned an iPhone, online and off, I guess I made a HUGE mistake. It's not worth the upgrade from what I'm told.

I, for one, am quite disappointed I will be missing out on seeing how many fanboys that have been waiting in line for an iPhone 5 since Monday suddenly get up out of line and run to a fucking Samsung store to buy their Galaxy S3 because they so happen see a couple of people smash their ridiculously large as fuck Samsung screens together, then take pictures with it after...ooooh.





BECAUSE THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE!!!

That's how easily fanboys, who've been sucking Apple dick since the Mac toaster days, change their fucking minds... "Oh no, some old hipster Boomers with BMWs and big houses and money just cut in line, time to buy a Samsung... we're not cool anymore..".

When was the last time you saw two people within 10ft of each other with Samsung phones?? Nevermind the SAME phone and tapping them together??? ALL THE TIME.  Did Apple not get the memo "the next big thing is already here"..???. I mean tapping phones together hasn't been this big since Crackberry vagabonds were doing it 2 years ago...

And these "Maps" complaints? Totally valid. Fuck those Apple bastards! Do they not know that is why we buy smartphones in the first place?? For the GPS!! And I expect pinpoint accuracy for every fucking urinal in every city around the world from ALL my GPS's...And, even if Google had no intention to upgrade their maps on the iPhone EVER, I expect all this and more from Apple... how dare they change the Maps App?

Yes, I do admit I'll miss the novelty of Streetview too. You never know when you're gonna feel the need to see what your house looked like 2 years ago or what your neighbour's dog taking a shit in front of your house looks like when the Google van drove by...

Why I will miss Streetview...

And those of you who feel the new iPhone just "isn't revolutionary" enough to upgrade, I understand. Your StarTac served you well for years, there's absolutely no reason your iPhone 3G won't do just fine as well; it IS "the same phone, same content, and same operating system..."

Don't you KNOW it's a fucking conspiracy-- those computer geeks are taking over the world and they are trying to control us... How dare they make us CHANGE OUR CABLES when we switched from CRT monitors to flatscreen LCDs!!!  . Totally understandable why everyone is soo pissed about the new adapter.  Well, fuck them Apple dicksuckers and their new cables-- our pentium machines running Windows 3.1 runs just fine and dandy for what we need to do with them even after we dropped them in water; we're smarter than them and never will we be assimilated into the Matrix...

You see, we are quite content with that big ass tube TV in a wooden box in our basements and our 1982 K-Cars... You see, when we went from Black & White TVs to colour and from horse & buggy to gasoline engines, now THAT WAS REVOLUTIONARY!!! Everything else since then has only been small tweaks...and not revolutionary at all. Fuck you Apple and your upgrade cycle.  "Innovation at Apple died with Steve Jobs"... WE WANT SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT... perhaps a flip phone with a dinky keyboard??  Or a stylus!! Like the Note!! Apple has always been known to get rid of shit everybody wants.. look what they did to the Newton!!

The Next "Big Thing"

Damn. My sarcasm button on my keyboard is stuck on FUCK YOU again... Is it obvious?

And something extra... because buying a Samsung was EXACTLY the same....



Monthly OPEX today. It will be interesting to see MM's try to keep this under the 700 roll when there are no sellers...

Good Morning. Good Luck in all your trades.

So Why Did I Buy the iPhone 5?

Recent press releases from AT& T and Apple says they are selling stupid as fuck amounts of the new iPhone 5 in the past few days.. Luckily I got my pre-order within the first hour.. So why am I getting the 5? Especially since I upgraded to the 4S barely 11 months ago?

Sure.. the new iPhone will have 4G LTE speeds, a bigger screen, more memory, etc. etc. You don't need me to give you all the specs... Google it.

I'm don't really see myself as a fanboy, more of a fan-old fucker nowadays but I do still enjoy my nerdy tech gadgets.. but that's not it.

And I quit trying to impress my peers eons ago... plus they're all still into their granite countertops and stainless steel appliances up here in Canada anyways.. so that's not it either...

I was parked outside the supermarket the other day while the wife ran inside to pick up a few things. Not 10 seconds after I park, some dirty old street person walks up to my car and taps on my window to ask me if I had any spare change so he can catch a bus. I roll down the window partially to tell him "Sorry pal, no change, now get the fuck away from my window..."

He then walks away from my vehicle to meet up with another street person working the other side of the parking lot; the other guy must've been a colleague by the way he was pushing the shopping carts full of bottles and garbage bags... I kept a watchful eye on them for a bit as I've heard in the news some of these vagabonds may vandalize your car or get violent sometimes when they don't get any spare change...

Much to my surprise, both reach into their overcoats and pull out cel phones and start texting like a couple of crazy teenagers with Crackberries... Not only did they have cel phones, they were both using iPhone 4's; I can tell not only by the recognizable Otterbox they had protecting them but because that's the kind of psychopath that I am...

Being an AAPL shareholder, I was quite elated that they had iPhones but like fuck if some dirty motherfucking vagrant clad in a burlap sack begging for fucking bus fare is gonna have a nicer phone than me!!!

Nevermind trying to keep up with the fucking Joneses, it's all about staying ahead of the dirty vagabonds these days...

Disclaimer: Got the black/slate 64GB iPhone 5... should be here Friday..and lineups are for suckers. And vagabonds.

Vagabonds in line for the new iPhone 5...

   

In all honesty, I could use a 10% pullback in AAPL here... that way I can go from stupid as fuck long to retarded as fuck longer...

Good Luck in all your trades.

A Message to Our Fans and Partners From the Edmonton Oilers...

"A message to our fans and partners:

As you are most likely aware, the Collective Bargaining Agreement between the National Hockey League and the National Hockey League Players Association expired this past Saturday, September 15. Since the two parties were unable to reach a new agreement by that date, a work stoppage is now in effect. We remain hopeful a new CBA will be reached in the near future and the 2012-13 NHL season will commence with minimal interruption.

We assure you our thoughts are mainly about you during these troubled times. Oilers fans have carried our team to greatness many times in the past and you can be assured that we spend every day working on plans to repeat those achievements for you, as soon as possible. In the meantime, while this dispute is unsolved, we thank you for your patience and your loyalty.

Patrick LaForge

President & COO

Edmonton Oilers"

FUCK YOU PAT. If you and your huckster cronies gave even the slightest inkling of a thought about "the fans" at any time throughout this entire this bullshit money struggle, we would have hockey right now, no?

Not gonna lie to you, I am embarrassed to be an NHL fan today. Not as a hockey fan, but as an NHL fan. Again, fuck you.

Sincerely yours,
Heisenberg.

PS. Fuck you Pat. Just because I doubt you got the memo on the first two.