I was just sent a personal message that I needed to refocus and give thought on the Manti Te'o fake girlfriend scam.
Well, while I am reluctant to offer any strong opinions lately, I really do need to address a few things here.
Firstly, I must apologize for my recent behavior over the internets lately as I've been consumed by my very own personal fucking financial crisis, fixated, almost haunted, by the idiocy that is AAPL.
I’m getting tossed into lit fireplaces, while sitting in shit soup, with six figure losses, down more than 30% since my all time cocaine highs in September, led lower by everything you could impossibly imagine. Fiscal cliffs, tax selling, demand shortages, supply problems, management issues, options manipulation, increased competition, Foxconn factory workers on strike, Japanese Yens being grape raped,, FED printing presses... you name it, I got fucked by it...
Miraculously, among the black smoke and chards of metal, I am lucky to be still alive to talk about it, but it really doesn’t matter.
The sick, perverted, stock Gods have decided to curse me with a thousand Enrons... one day I'm witnessing Apple Stores selling out of every fucking thing in sight, set to animalistically do glorious lines of blow off escorts; the next, guillotines are stationed in the town square, chopping male anatomy at a furious rate and I find myself next in fucking queue... Consequently it means the cocaine ship to hedonism is sinking and down with it goes all the fucktards, such as myself, who are long AAPL.
Gone are the days of yesterday, when the mocking of asshats with big gay giant screened Samsung phones for being “stupid fucking retards” was fashionable. Today they are the ones celebrating, decked out in their finest clown costumes and Galaxy Note 2's holstered to their hips, dining on the rotting carcasses of overzealous AAPL shareholders.
Anyways, at first glance this fake dead girlfriend fiasco, I thought, 'oh no, Manti Te'o is just another victim of the Interwebs, 'thinking it was a real girl but it's actually a group of hilarious 7th grade boys fucking with him.' Shit like this has been happening since the days of AOL chat rooms. Te'o isn't a liar, he's just a fucking idiot.
But upon further research, I've come to the conclusion that the real scam here, the one all you dicksuckers seemed to have missed, is that big fucking apostrophe in his last name. Who the fuck does this fucker think he is? Lance fucking Armstrong?? You want to fool the masses?? How bout tell them about Notre Dame's "imaginary" defense in the BCS Bowl game.. Now, that's the kind of shit that is believable.!
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