Pause to Reflect and Say Thank You...

Remembrance Day today... a day to recognize those who gave their lives for our freedom. A day to say thanks to all Veterans and Canadian troops who have served and continue to do so...

Yet, I am utterly appalled to hear several local schools are allowing students to "opt out" of participation in Remembrance Day ceremonies.  And there are parents who choose not to allow their child to participate and take their kids out of any ceremonies on reason of their own choice.

People just don't get it anymore.

And while there are those, including many Veterans, voicing their disapproval of these actions to opt out of recognizing the troops who gave their lives for our freedom,  Remembrance Day was always something I'll admit I never really got as a kid either.. and what I did get was it was a statutory holiday and another 'day off' from school or work..  fuck yeah!

I mean I would see all the parades and shit at city hall on the teevee; we did the ceremonies at school; wore poppies and all.. two minutes of silence at 11:00 on the 11th day on the 11th month.. officially commemorating when WW1 ended and Armistice was signed in 1918.. yeah yeah..I got the deets...  I paid attention in Social Studies...

You see, my ancestors have a different history.. they didn't fight in the Great War.. they ran from the Japanese; they ran from Communists; they starved on their own farms.. Chinese immigrants celebrate "Ching Ming"..we get pastries and BBQ pork from Chinatown and have a picnic at the graveyard to acknowledge our ancestors.. So on Remembrance Day.. we get the day off!!  WooHoo!

On May 2010, I was particularly intrigued hearing on the news about the Netherlands having more Canadian flags waving in one town than all of Canada.  I just figured, fuck, those Dutch must really like hockey or something... indeed they do..  BUT FOR OTHER REASONS.

Watching news clip after news clip, I saw 100s of thousands of Dutch people cheering, crying, mobbing, and honouring a bunch of these old codgers, Veterans, getting limo'd around on their streets.. Mothers of small children, teenagers, people in their 20's and 30's who never knew WW1 or 2, for that matter, running up to these old fuckers just to get a kiss or a simple touch!  Then they interviewed these fanatics... they said they wanted their children to know they touched a person who liberated their country 65 years ago.

Flags and banners waved:

"THANK YOU CANADA- WE WILL NEVER FORGET" and "THANK YOU FOR OUR LIBERATION CANADA- WE LOVE YOU"

It was quite the spectacle to behold. Memorial burial places in the Netherlands were gathered by literally 100s upon 100s of thousands placing flowers and candles on Canadian soldiers' graves and headstones.. "They never let a whipper snipper touch those headstones; they hand cut the grass with scissors.." said some old Canadian Vet in an interview..

The revelation suddenly dawned on me then... "They do remember.."

You see, the Dutch deliberately keep in sharp focus what it meant to be hunted down like animals, starved and beaten, and killed during the war. They forget neither those crushed under Nazi occupation at home, nor those who went off to their deaths in battle.  The memory is kept alive by public policy and personal conviction. These people realize what it meant to lose their freedom.. and they remember what it took to get it back...

THEY GET IT.

"To show their appreciation to the pilots who dropped food from the air, many Dutch people painted, "Thank you, Canadians!" on their rooftops. In honour of their gift of freedom Dutch people have donated 10,000 tulip bulbs to Canada for the National Capital Region, annually since the war's end. For 1995, the Netherlands donated an additional 5,000 bulbs for Parliament Hill, 1,000 for each provincial and territorial capital and 1,000 for Ste. Anne's hospital in Saint-Anne-de-Bellevue, Que. (the only remaining federal hospital in Canada, administered by Veterans Affairs Canada) "

from

http://wwii.ca/page52.html

It is tempting to feel our Canadian pride upon seeing all of this;  BUT what really dawned on me also was the Dutch challenged my thoughtlessness that day.  I am embarassed about my delinquency as an adult.  What the Dutch say rings true..

"It is our duty to remember and teach future generations what it means to be free.."

This quote will forever haunt me of my ignorance and obtuseness.  For forty years, I took for granted what this all meant..  I didn't get it.  But, it's not too late.. It's never too late to pause and reflect on the real price for my lifetime of peace, freedom, and opportunity, is it?

In fact, I think we all have the moral obligation and the social responsibility to teach our children why we even have the freedom to be able to 'opt out' of anything in the first place.

So today, as I have every year since that day I was enlightened by the Dutch,  I set aside my X-rated prose about Wall Street's inner workings, hold back my perverted cynicism about politics and current economic outlook, and instead choose to nurture memory and appreciation.


Today I give thanks to those who made the ultimate sacrifice so I can enjoy my everyday freedom.

Today I will pray for those who gave everything, and for those being now asked for their all..


Lest We Forget...

"Many Thanks" in tulips...

Welcome Back to Armafuckingeddon...

Suddenly it's 2008 again and we're on the brink of Armafuckingeddon and my largest position AAPL is hemorrhaging losses day in and day out ; unbelievably clown raping my net worth to the point of biblical horror...

Trading AAPL the last 6 weeks has been EXACTLY akin to:




Fundamentals don't matter anymore; charts are broken and technical analysis is for suckers; nothing makes sense anymore. Look at the sorry exhibition that is AAPL.. they're selling every fucking thing Chinese slave labour camps can pump out and the stock is going to $00.00 right the fuck now again, RIMM-style... pundits are pulling all sorts of numbers of their asses again, and good news is bad, bad news is worse... Just what the fuck is going on here??

But I'm not selling one fucking share.. You see, if you understand what is really going on in the market you can sleep easy at night. No, it's not because the "Black Communist" got in again and he made Jay-Z the Secretary of Swag. Nor is it the "fiscal cliff" or "everybody is selling ...for tax reasons" bullshit the CNBC dicksuckers are touting...

When I say degenerate two-bit hucksters in checkered Republican pants and their HFT bots are pulling rabbits out of their fucking magic hats again, understand I am NOT joking here... "playing the game", manipulation, whatever you want to call it... learn it, understand it and embrace the fraud that is Wall Street...

Even Cramer admits doing it...listen carefully:

http://www.wimp.com/manipulatingmarket/



Good Morning.

Let It Snow..

Yesterday's weather was the ultimate litmus test for all you jerk offs and fucktards...


So did EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FUCKERS suddenly forget it rained before all that snow fell then froze over?? What? 200+ accidents with cars all over the ditch this morning does not give indication to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN??? And what's with you dicksuckers driving like crackpipe smoking baby monkeys that insist on passing everybody only to slam on the brakes because there's still traffic in front?? You're that much in a rush to GET TO WORK???

THEN LEAVE EARLIER FUCKED FACE!!

You know.. there are psychopaths that would randomly open fire in a McDonald's for a reason... Not saying I would do that kind of shit myself, but I do understand...

Markets looking to bounce from yesterday's egregious pukefest. This doesn't necessarily mean Christmas is back on...

Good Morning.

Another Four Fucking Years of Cocaine Gorillas...

The Obama gets his second term..no change in the House or Senate. Re-elected is the fiscal cliff, high unemployment, inflation, budget problems, and Bernanke's long lines of cocaine. $16 Trillion in debt and our Amerikan comrades are more concerned with gay marriage and smoking pot in front of cops. Awesome.

What must pain GOPers the most about Obama's victory is that 2012 was truly winnable for them... Pundits say the Republicans need to figure shit out..Well, it's actually quite easier than that: just ditch those fucking Tea Party psychopaths!! But hey, if you are a Romney supporter and if you also accept the fact that elections are always rigged and America lives in a state of oligarchy, you can swallow the loss in ease..plus you can always blame Ryan.

As a Canadian looking in from the outside, we are elated with the Obama win. Now really, who wants cheaper gas at the pump and a 65 cent Cdn dollar anyways?? We are enjoying our endless uptick in home prices immensely and really don't need some binder-toting goat fucker fucking with our cross-border shopping needs!!!

Pre-markets are reacting in fuck you, we're dead for another 4 years fashion, 2008 all over again-style. So.. this is what "certainty" feels like...

Elections are over..SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT POLITICS UNTIL 2016 AND GET THE FUCK BACK TO WORK!!!



Good Morning.

Happy AAPL Raider Day!!

Happy US Election Day and AAPL dividend raider day...


Last day to buy AAPL to get the Nov 15th divvy as the EX-date is tomorrow. Please enjoy watching the glorious spectacle of options volume going full retard to the upside today as MMs play "the game"; buying DITM calls and exercising them immediately to capture the $2.65 divvy, then selling the same calls for delta neutrality....

My mood is that of a psychopath with a chemical imbalance pushing old fuckers down moving escalators....

My portfolio is sitting in shit soup, sucking on 10 dicks lately, hemorrhaging 6 figure losses in 4 weeks, as I hold onto stupid as fuck amounts of AAPL common and OTM calls during AAPL's biggest correction in valuation since the dismal days of the 2008 financial crisis... My dip-buying escapades will surely spell the end of me one day..but this is AAPL for fuck sakes!

Work is being a piece of shit right now and giving me a hard time for missing out on a couple of "important" safety meetings, because discussing the intricacies of starting a fire in a live refinery and the nuances of climbing a ladder with pocketfuls of big wrenches and loose change is somehow much more important than meeting up with the project coordinators that call you every ten minutes only to have you run around like a coke-addled baby gorilla.. when really I should be watching my portfolio grind into fucking dust...

And now with the volatility of an 50-50 even presidential race, all gap ups are being faded, rallies are sold, and being in the fucking markets is more like playing pinless hand grenade hot potato.

An Obama win means driving off the fiscal cliff, $5/gallon gasoline and $100 tomatoes and a King Romney victory spells Austerity and the end of the QE cocaine train. No matter which two-bit huckster goat fucker our neighbors to the South vote in today, eventually means the same thing: the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, the Middle Class gets fucked. Americans are only choosing on "how" they get grape raped today....

Short term, markets will rally into American Turkey Day, on an uncertainty finally becoming certain but long term... Hmmm. Worst case scenario: a Bush-Gore-esce clown fuck tie again.


As a Canadian looking in, we will be doing what we do at our own elections: not voting. We'll be sitting at home, eating Doritos, and catch it all on CNN...



Good Morning.

Time to Place Your Bets...

Unless you've been lazing your fat ass under a fucking Microsoft Zune and do not know today is AAPL earnings day, lets get a few things straight, shall we?

Will the big fruit company meet Wall Street's ridiculous asshat expectations? I do not know. You don't either and neither do the fucking pros in checkered Republican pants, so relax.

What I do know is AAPL has been the easiest stock to OWN long term. And yes the markets fucking suck right now as does the economy and trading like a degenerate OTB guy has been trying as of late.

But even if Apple did not make a fucking penny the entire quarter; meaning Tim Cook was lying about those 5 million iPhone5's that sold in 3 days, and the 100 millionth iPad sold (16million for the Q), and added ZERO dollars to their already large as fuck coffers, and Verizon and AT&T are duping us all on the stupid as fuck amounts of iPhones they activated last Q, the share price would still trade at a PE of 17 at current prices--cheaper than GOOG or AMZN by leaps and bounds and any other stock you can find that grows their business 30% avg every quarter.

And even if you are a fucking schmoe with a big screen Samsung phone, hate Apple with animalistic violence, and think the ghost of Steve Jobs has ruined your life in every possible way because you so happen to be a 9-year-old Chinese factory worker with tiny hands building Nintendo Wii's 24/7 for bowls of rice, you must be an absolute fucktard to think not one fucking Apple nerd will buy any of that new shit Apple just released and Apple won't make fuckloads of cash from any of that shit.

So forget your gay little charts, stupid trend lines, and cock and balls formations, and put your crack pipe down for a second;  that shit does not apply here when gambling earnings call like some OTB guy at the horseraces;  here are the numbers you need to know today:

Apple guidance: $7.65EPS;

Expected: $8.83;

Whisper: $9.81...

Anything over $9 we hop back on the cocaine train to Heaven and then some, cutting shorts' dicks off along the way; anything under $8, we get punched in the fucking face with a sledge hammer dipped in HF acid and strange dog rabies...

My take? I'm riding into earnings call with retardo amounts of longs, 700-740 Feb bull call spreads and looking to dip buy some 600-640 Feb call spreads and 700-750 Jan14 Call spreads-- that's over 100% return if AAPL is $640 by Feb 2013 and over 200% if AAPL is above $750 by Jan 2014...my kind of odds. Hat tip to Apple guru Nick Nansen for all the dirty math on the above spreads...

Time to place your bets Gentlemen.

Good Morning.

No Such Thing as "Easy Money"...

My ol' man once told me long ago, 'even if money grew on trees, you'd still have a sore back at the end of the day picking up all that fucking cash off the ground'... Moral of the story: There's no such thing as "easy money".

So did you OTB dice-rolling charlatan dicksuckers really think it'd be that easy to make money here? Just buy AAPL on the dip and we go to all time cocaine highs again, just like that?

Well Buck-O, if price technicals means anything at all, perhaps you need to take a look-see at the chart... looking at all the overhead resistance against us, you've got better odds throwing snake eyes with expired lotto tickets and dead hookers on the table today...

Time to get the fuck back to work...

Welcome Aboard the Cocaine Express...

Well, it looks like we printed that bullish reversal hammer bouncing off the 100DMA that EVERYONE was looking for and happen to call yesterday... And judging how positive the AAPL stream is on Stocktwits, it looks like we'll be snorting eight balls off escorts before long now...

It never ceases to amaze me how EVERYONE on the stream bought in at the exact bottom of $623.55..; just like how everyone shorted AAPL at the "top" at $705.07,  simply by drawing a few gay trend lines on the chart... Fuck me,  I've been buying stocks since Elton John was straight, and I have yet to perfectly time any trade as of yet... I'm always too early or too fucking late.. But you fuckers... you guys should be flipping million dollar homes in Calgary, Alberta with that kind of genius!

Now hold your fucking horses for a second, I'm not much of a Technical Analysis guy but as a degenerate riverboat gambler not wanting to get surprise sex up my Doug Kass, shouldn't there be confirmation of this trend reversal, such as taking out yesterday's highs of $640.49 while not breaching yesterday's lows before going all in?? 

The thing is,  looking at the pre-market, AAPL is looking to gap UP and not wanting to sound like some vagrant bearshitter, what I am seeing blocking our way to heaven and more, is former all-time highs as resistance; though I feel it will not pose much resistance as it wasn't much support when we went through it.  The major resistance will be at the $652.00 area, which incidentally is also the 38.2% Fibbonacci Retracement support from the July low AND coincides with the 50DMA (once major support). 

Giving my respect to vagrant options guys who control the markets, cocaine highs aren't gonna be that easy. Getting over that wall of OI Calls at the 650 strike is like bringing a Galaxy S3 to a gunfight... but what the fuck do I know?  I'm just rolling dice here... still justifying why I bought too early AGAIN.

Good Luck in all your trades.

Now Awaiting to Hit Bottom...

As I indicated yesterday I picked some more AAPL longs on my dip buy triggers.. perhaps a little hasty but with AAPL being down 11 of 14 days now, including this morning's grape raping,  I do expect a bottom may be put in within the next few days;  and there is now a greater fear of missing out getting aboard the Cocaine Express to Nirvana than there is Apple Armafuckingeddon...

Sure enough as my order filled at $638.00, AAPL knifed down lower kicking yours truly in the nut sack... In all honesty I would rather scratch my eyeballs out with a broken hockey stick dipped in HF acid than sit through one of these fucking AAPL corrections while watching all the baby monkeys run amok over the Internets spouting the end of Apple again and pulling stupid numbers out of their asses... But it is what it is...

We are currently still toying with AAPL former all-time highs as support; but I don't think this will hold as it was only hit once and broke through with ease in August. If we don't get a bounce here and happen to go further down the elevator shaft, this is what I'm looking at:

As seen above,  former resistance just under the $620 level would act as greater support. Which also coincides with AAPL's 100 DMA seen below.

As we can see in the above chart, AAPL tended to favorably V-bounce off its 100 Day MA on several occasions in this past year. In addition, this 100DMA price is also in the range of the 50% Fibbonacci Retracement levels and former resistance as seen in the first chart....

Hence my reasoning, we are closing in on a bottom, especially as this would also price AAPL with a PE of 14.5 using last Q's TTM numbers. 

But then again, what the fuck do I know; I'm just killing time now, experimenting with my patience levels via lighting sticks of dynamite and making excuses, trying to justify my dip buy yesterday as everyone else does on Stocktwits, awaiting on the bounce to cocaine highs...

It's Time... Here We Go...BUY AAPL

Alas, it is time once again to place testicles on the chopping block whilst speed dicing onions and playing landmines hot potato...... my OVERSOLD triggers hav been hit as per my last post;  setting timestamps on 'Fuck you'... BUY.

Is It Time to Buy AAPL?

So here we are at the 50 Day MA again... second time in a week.. where are all you fucktards now claiming you "shoulda woulda coulda" got in when it hit the 50DMA 2 days earlier than Friday's close??

Yeah, typical fucking all yap and no flap bullshit. It's the end of AAPL as we know it AGAIN; it has topped and could hit $00.00 by earnings call on Oct 25th...  with all the negativity on AAPL lately, it's hard not to get sucked in; I know that feeling well. Who hasn't shit their pants long AAPL through a correction?.. Look at all the fuck you we're all dead headlines.. from the bearish doji stars to head and shoulders formations to the 50day MA breakdowns to "Mapplegate" to Foxconn workers striking to Samsung trials to Doug Fucking Kass beaking off... the peer pressure is sometimes overwhelming.

And can there be a more bearish chart? Just look at that nasty ass chart with that bitch of a candle that broke through the 50 Day Moving Average and the head and shoulders neckline like a flaming knife through butter in an elevator without cables flying down a shaft... and we all know the 50DayMA is THE dividing line between a technically healthy stock and one ready for the fucking shitter...and the Head and Shoulders pattern is the end-all be-all most reliable and most often seen uptrend reversal technical indicators...  Fuck me, how about I just blow my brains out right the fuck now???

Now before you degenerate OTB guys start making some asshatish decisions, let's analyze this fucking shit further...

Fundamentally, there's still no better stock than AAPL. They have stupid as fuck amounts of cash, they make stupid as fuck amounts of cash and will continue to make stupid as fuck amounts of cash despite how much you dicksuckers need to justify that Samsung with the retardo big screen purchase you just bought... Andy Zaky describes AAPL's future best  and slams asshat CNBC chronic AAPL bear Doug Kass while he's at it..

Technically, I'm no technical analysis guy.. if you want to see some Grey's Anatomy-style surgery-like precision in Technical Analysis mastery at its finest,  I highly recommend you check out @ChessNwine or @RaginCajun's blogs..

What I do know about technical analysis, is its most basic premise is HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF in definable patterns and trends that can be seen in charts...

So, looking at AAPL's history with the 50 DMA, we see it has broken through the 50 Day 19 times in the last 2 years.

But of all the times it has broken through the 50DMA, only 4 times since the 2009 lows has AAPL's share price ever fell more than 10% more from its 50Day breach price...

Now if history were to repeat itself as per technical analysis and an average 8% drop were to ensue from its current 50DMA price it printed on Friday's close, an absolute bottom max drop of $50 or to the $602.00 could be seen from its current price.  So all you asshats calling for $300 by next week can go fuck your hat...

As far as the head and shoulders bullshit is concerned, we can see from the following long term chart,  AAPL tends to punch those technical indicators of a top in the fucking face then spits on them... just as it does with stochastic divergences and other fucktarded lagging indicators...

For myself, I have never been able to take profits on AAPL shares with any success, nor have I ever made money shorting AAPL...WHY?

Answer: I can never call the top...  every time I feel I've got the technicals down pat or let the CNBC dicksuckers get the best of me, I end up losing my shares only to watch AAPL go on a cocaine gorilla run for the ages... In fact, there's only one person I can think of who has done it with any success, implied or imaginary; a certain TF fellow on Stocktwits, shorted the  entire recent 140 handle tit-rip to all-time highs via drawing a few simple trendlines and trips to the beach...


Since the desolate days of 2008/ 2009 lows, AAPL has been by far the easiest stock to buy on dips and hold.  Every single pullback in share price has been the buying opportunity of a lifetime to add more shares...   And, I find I am a much better dip buyer when it comes to AAPL than I am as a breakout buyer...

Don't get me wrong, some of these fucking pullbacks have been difficult to sit through, and they feel like clawhammers to the face and chest when they happen, and can last seemingly forever.. Fuck, the $424.88 to $361.77 pullback of 2011 (-14.85%), and the $641.25 to $519.95 pullback of earlier this year (-19.92%) both took an egregious 6 weeks to complete!

But, both also were subsequently followed up by runaway cocaine trains to the upside; from $361.77 to $641.25 (+77.25%) and from $519.95 to $705.07 (+35.60%)! 


So is it time to buy now??

What I have found successful using technicals is when AAPL share price hits the bottom Bollinger Band, the CCI and RSI (9) indicates oversold levels at the same time.. so on the following chart:

Answer: No.

Not yet, according to my rules.

I'd like to see all 3 indicators trigger 'oversold' before adding to my existing longs.  So near $611-$640 range, all 3 should trigger oversold but also those numbers show a bounce off the 61.8% Fibbonacci Retracement from the July lows and 50% from the May lows.. In addition, AAPL's PE would be below 15 using last Q's TTM numbers....  And anything in the 13-14 PE range, it seems to trigger all the HFT machines and Fund Guys and MM's alarms to buy AAPL with retarded conviction..so I would expect a violent bounce if AAPL gets to these levels...

In all honesty, I have no fucking idea where the market is going nor do I know where AAPL share price is going... if I did, you think I'd be here spending stupid as fuck amounts of time looking at charts while entertaining the likes of you fuckfaces?? If it were that easy to predict the future, I'd be fixing flux capacitors or reading tea leaves and tarot cards in some KGB bathhouse...

In the meantime I'm satisfied knowing what I'll do if AAPL decides knifes down lower....But if it heads back to heaven and then some, I'll be just as happy selling covered calls for stupid as fuck amounts of cash while I await another dip buying opportunity...


Disclaimer: Stupid as fuck long AAPL; hedged with covered calls.

Giving My Thanks To LTE.....

It's Canadian Thanksgiving and as a holiday tradition, what better way to spend the long weekend fucking around with your brand spanking new iPhone 5?

As of Oct. 1st, Rogers has FINALLY set up LTE speeds in Edmonton, AB.  But by the 2nd, Rogers LTE already crashed.  Typical fucking Rogers.  But it's back up and running again and time to see what kind of speeds this LTE is capable of...

Since I purchased my 3rd Gen iPad, I've only seen what LTE is capable of, ONCE-- when I was in Calgary last April, I happened to stumble on it for about 2 minutes on my iPad... and boy was it fucking fast! 

So finally with my iPhone 5, and LTE in my hometown of Buttfuck, Alberta, I am hearing speeds close to WiFi is capable.

Without further ado... using an iPhone 5; 64GB, unlocked via Rogers LTE plan:

City of Edmonton Free Public WiFi at Callingwood Arena... for comparison sake and just because I happen to be spending a fuck of a lot of time recently there with hockey season in full swing now... 3.40 Mbps Download Speed.

From the City of Edmonton free WiFi in Callingwood Arena

From my house, west -end Edmonton; courtesty of Telus home Internet WiFi— The High Speed Turbo Package (advertised up to 15 Mbps Download speeds.. though I have yet to see those speeds but still better than the typical 6Mbps standard packages of most Canadian providers offer)...

WiFi from my house...

Same location on the Rogers network using 3G... 14.55Mbps Download speeds...


3G from my house...

And LTE... so far my best download speed is a tit-ripping 30.57Mbps... but on average throughout the city I am hitting averages over the 27Mbps mark:

LTE from my house..

Not too shabby. Though the record I have seen across Canada is over 60Mbps in Brampton, ON on the Rogers network...  And for comparison, these are the 3G speeds I get near work.. the Suncor Refinery in Sherwood Park, AB:  a dismal 1.57Mbps...

3G near work...

So there you have it... downloading porn and your stupid Facebook friends' updates have never been faster on an iPhone...




It's All About Maps... AAPL

AAPL up in pre-market on iPad Mini rumours aplenty... where have we seen this song and dance before??

Why do they bother releasing a product for media and haters to mock? Hasn't EVERY Apple product ever released been the greatest disappointment and THE end of Apple??? iMac, OSX, Macbook Air, iPod, iPhone, iPad... Sure, AAPL is selling stupid as fuck amounts of iPhone5's and iPads; they make stupid as fuck amounts of money from those products and they have stupid as fuck amounts of cash..

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ITS STOCK PRICE???

It's all about the sorry exhibition that is Maps these days. GoogleMaps is suddenly the end-all be-all bible of maps.. Seriously, when was the last time you grabbed the free pullout map from the Fodor's and were so utterly pissed that you couldn't see your fucking urinal on it...??

"This is such fucking bullshit... This is nothing like the Rand/McNally maps I get at the gas station!! I'll never buy a Fodor's travel guide AGAIN!! If Steve Jobs were alive, he'd never let this happen.."

Perhaps Apple needs to be more like its peers....

Look at RIMM :

"BB10 will be released MAYBE sometime in the next 2 years and we have a pretty good chance to be the Number 3 smartphone maker in the world.." 

RIMM is now UP 25% in the last 5 days...

Or how about AMZN?

"We are in the business of losing money but maybe sometime in the next decade we may turn a profit..."

AMZN Stock is UP 40%..

And FB....

"We really do care for our shareholders..no no we really do.."

FB Stock UP 20% since the Zuckerberg pep-talk...

GOOG. For the love of metrosexual men in tight Lululemon pants sticking their fat faces in lions' mouths, you'd think GOOG sold 5 million Nexus 7's in 3 days the way its stock is ripping tits!!!

And I have the pleasure of holding AAPL long through another correction while I sit here selling my weekly OTM covered calls and awaiting on theta to do its thing; I am amused watching all the AAPL haters call for the end of Apple on Stocktwits AGAIN... why so much energy is spent justifying their asshat Samsung or HTC purchase, I still don't understand...

Please. The only problem I see with Maps is the Tim Cook apology. I woulda fired Tim Cook's ass for being such a fucking WUSS... Steve Jobs would have never apologized for Maps; and Tim Cook shouldn't either.. And, the Maps app would have still been released with iOS6, Steve Jobs just would've sold it better...and we would've LOVED it.

"This has been blown so out of proportion that it's incredible.." "There is NO Antennagate.." -Steve Jobs

People are choked because they have been accustomed to being spoiled little fucking brats, having the best smartphone in the universe without realizing to remain the best, Apple NEEDED to dump GoogleMaps.. It is not like Tim Cook woke up one morning with an erect dick and decided to roll over and fuck Google...

To fully understand what happened between Apple and Google, all one has to do is look at Apple's relationship with Adobe...  Remember when everyone was pissed over not having fucking Flash on the iPhone? It was like suddenly we depended on pop-up ads to survive! Oh the outrage! Well, we know the outcome of that...  Now it's all about GoogleMaps..here we go again... At least we're not hearing the same bullshit, "But it's got Flash.." anymore...


AAPL green in pre-market trading but it's looking to sell off during the regular trading session like it does every fucking day...  especially with that monstrosity of an OI wall at the $670 and $680 strikes getting bigger by the minute... trade accordingly.

Good Morning $$

It's Going to be a Loong Season...

Please pardon my foul mood and harsh verbiage this morning...

After taking an egregious $60K kick in the fucking testicles on the markets since Monday, my temper is a lit stick of dynamite and I find myself a wee bit sensitive when it comes to discussing issues on full retard spending to the upside these days...

Trust me, I'm at the gym right now and I'd much rather be stabbing these pencil-necked dicksuckers holding up ALL the cable-flye machines in the fucking eyes and pushing fat-faced old fuckers wearing MC Hammer pants doing my sister's weights beside me into idle barbell racks than ranting about my kid's hockey...

So we just found out our eldest son, Jayden, is booked for his first hockey tournament for the season... In less than 2 weeks time...

Thanks for the fucking heads up.

I do understand an 'early-in-the-season' tournament is a wonderful thing for team cohesion and camaraderie. I get that.

While I find this "money is no object when it comes to my kid's hockey" mantra quite displeasing; and though I am just a mere blue collar low-life working in a refinery for hourly wages, and my kid wears Nike and last year's Under Armour, and my lifestyle is that of a vagrant piker with a burlap hoodie when compared to the arcane spending habits of the rest of the Joneses in the hockey world, I still feel I do have the cash to 'tolerate' the whimsical caprices of this teams' parents and coaches for the sake of my kid being able to improve and skate with this higher tiered team...

And, while I also understand "time is of the essence" when it comes to entering these tournaments as they do fill up quickly, and a lot of the team's decisions are already made within the confines of this tight little clique, as I have been to every parent meeting that I was made aware of, I just thought it was "common courtesy" to have prior INPUT and CONSENT from all the other parents too, even those degenerates of the lower order of the hockey parent echelon, of the specific dates and availability of our kids being able to participate in it; not only because it is expected of us to pay for this too, but because it is also an out-of-town tournament that involves booking a hotel room for the weekend, leaving work early, and pulling my kid out from school to drive him there for a Friday night game...

You see, I've been a big fan of past hockey teams waiting to get the regular season league game schedule first, which also happens to start in 4 days, before booking any tournaments to see if there are any conflicts in schedules... Now how novel would that be?

And what about the other siblings also enrolled in hockey? Don't their teams and coaches expect at least half the level of commitment we are putting towards this fucking team?? Oh no problem getting my second kid to his games and practices that weekend, because being in two places at the SAME fucking time just so happens to be my specialty... Shall I pull gay rabbits out of my magic hat for the purposes of entertaining you fuckfaces too??

Well, it's looking like it's going to be an even longer season now.... Is it possible to hate hockey?

Have a nice day.



PS. If you insist on leaving asshat comments such as "maybe your wife should get her driver's license.." Please refrain and say that to my face.. That way you know the guy that just punched you in the cocksucker right the fuck now is me...

Everything As Planned...

So it's the end of the world as we know it AGAIN...

Now before you get all stupid and shit and cancel Christmas, I'll have you know the Bearded Clam Bernanke is taking a toke on his blunt and laughing at all you asshats, panicking and shit... Don't you know everything is going swimmingly in this new world of Costanza trading and endless lines of cocaine...

Here are two charts for your perusement:

What happened with QE2:

  

And what the fuck is going on right now:

 

You make the call.

It's Not About the iPhone 5 Dickface...

Looks like we're in full retard fuck you we're all dead crash mode with AAPL leading the charge... MMs are back from taking the summer off practicing degeneracy and it's time to fuck all of you out of your hard earned coin...

So quit trying to call the bottom and when AAPL is gonna reverse back to heaven and more, because this isn't about iPhone 5 sales or Chinese factory workers pulling a Marxian Norma Rae proletariat uprising or your stupid oversold indicators... AAPL will sell off and continue to sell off until the SPX has stopped selling off.

Yeah, I said it, the iPhone is NOT the end-all be-all centre of the fucking universe, much to my chagrin; this is about the overall market. Meaning, until the big boys decide they've fucked all of you out of your shares and are getting bargain basement deals on their shares, any pop in AAPL may be short lived...

Here are some key levels you may be interested in:

 

Key support is at $652.45; breaching that we see the 5o day MA at $645.00 and major support at the 50% Fibonacci retracement levels at $630.00 then $600.00

If we do get around under the $650 levels, I will indeed be interested in AAPL being ripe for a swing into earnings and possible product announcement. Anything under $630, I'll be looking buying more retardo longs; QE3 and 5 million iPhone 5's sold in 3 days is for real... the rest is just noise.

Good Luck in all your trades.

To Put Things in Perspective, You Are an Asshat...

In 2002, I was working on the Athabasca Oil Sands Project (AOSP) at the Scotford Upgrader in Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta. It was the first Mega Project I ever worked at and I remember being in total awe of the magnitude of the jobsite and sheer number of workers that was employed there. I kid you not, I have never seen so many fucking people in one place at one time EVER, excluding a Stanley Cup Finals game or a U2 concert...

They brought in all sorts of people from engineers, pipefitters, welders, boilermakers, and electricians to  architects, elevator mechanics, teamsters, carpenters, and scaffolders from all over Canada and the United States; I was foreman of a crew of 12 and not one single person was a local; they booked up every hotel in the entire Edmonton and surrounding area, hired 130 buses to transport 65% of the workers to and from the jobsite; and what was normally a 20 minute commute to work, took over 2 fucking hours to get home after work because of all the traffic generated from that jobsite.

The money was abundant and it flowed freely; I don't think anyone that worked there for close to a year made less than 6 figures.  Yeah yeah, relative to all you Wall Street types making cold calls to fuck old people in Ohio for $500K a month, this is chump change. But for a lowly hourly wage worker in Alberta, post 9/11, this was pretty good coin and the place to be at the time. Fuck, it was the first time I grossed $130K in less than 10 months; not including what went into my pension, full health and welfare benefits, and other job incentives, like free gas cards every now and then.

Weekly brass pools where if one lucky employee bought a raffle ticket that week and got his name drawn, he took home a big green garbage bag with a $180K cash in it.    There were weekly job incentive draws for TVs, boats, and quads.. The client, Shell, in addition to the little trinkets, such as Swiss watches, GPS units, lawn chairs, camping knick knacks they handed out to everyone every month, they also gave everyone incentives such as airmiles so they wouldn't quit.  I received an egregious 18,000 airmiles in which a third of those afforded me a free return trip for 2 to California for less than my 10 months of employment there.

Scarcity of exotic metal welders led them to cut their own side deals; a welder from Nova Scotia on my crew, who was only 1 of 3 that had an inconel ticket, worked a week in another part of the plant on some high priority job and cleared $6500 in 4 days with paid cab ride to and from the job from his hotel. 

An electrician even made $80K selling chocolate-covered almonds fund raising for his kid's dance club in 6 months!

But even with all the "easy money" being made and all the incentives to attract tradesmen from all over North America the client was practically throwing at us all, the turnover rate on that job was a dreadful 50%; for every 10 workers hired on, half of them either were fired or said, "fuck this shit, I'm outta here!"

I remember every 2nd day, if not every day, there was some sort of altercation or dispute, whether it be someone fighting with security guards, or with the bus drivers, or other workers, or their foreman.  There were even a few wobbles, where the entire jobsite walked off the job and rioted in the parking lot over a fucking fence the client built around the construction site so to keep workers from going offsite to the parking lot for a toke. And in another instance, a wildcat occurred over rubber boots of all things. 

The peak workforce for the $1.1 billion 3-year fast-tracked project was 10,500 workers with 23 million manhours expended. 


Now let's put this in persepective, shall we?

Yesterday AAPL sold off and continuing to sell off this morning because of the disappointing number of iPhone5's sold over the first weekend and also due to Chinese workers involved in riots taking place at the Foxconn factory where they make these iPhones. 

Apple announced they ONLY sold a dreadful 5 million iPhone5's in 3 days; barely a touch more than the 4 million 4S's sold in the first 3 days last October; and professional analysts were expecting more to the tune of 8 million to 12 million units sold; there were even calls for 20 million sold. ONLY 5 million?? That's only HALF of what the majority of the analysts were expecting!!  What a fucking joke, right? Disappointing to say the least.  Apple must have problems with their supply chain. Could be the lack of demand for the new iPhone... This is BAD news. SELL AAPL.

In 2010, Foxconn reported they were producing a required 50 million iPhone 4s per annum.  That comes to about 137,000 iPhones made every day; 1.5 phones per second.  So, by the time you finish reading my little rant here, a bunch of Chinese kids, the same age as my own kids, has just pumped out 5 of these fuckers. 

Lunch at Foxconn

So, to sell the disappointing 5 million iPhones, these slaves that work at this factory took over 35 days to make them, taking into account, technology and on-job training has improved since 2010 and they are pumping out a rounded up figure of 140,000 iPhones a day now.  To make the expected 20 million iPhone5's, Foxconn still would have needed 5 months to make them. 

So, you asshat analysts were expecting something that gets made in an astonishing 5 months to be sold in 3 fucking days!!  And Apple expects to begin selling iPhone5's in 22 more countries by Friday... Are you dicksuckers just pulling numbers out of your ass now??? Have you seen the iPhone5?? It's not like they're making chicken McNuggets here...

Foxconn has got 78,000 workers in that iPhone factory alone. Upon thinking of all the problems we had at Shell on the AOSP job with only 10,500 workers and trying to keep them from quitting and fighting with each other, that little scuffle at the Foxconn barracks was sweet fuck all comparably. They have reopened the plant last night and are in full production again today. Foxconn also makes Kindles for Amazon, computers for Sony, Acer, and Microsoft, Motorola, Nokia, HP, Nintendo, Cisco, and Dell...

Only Apple can sell "much less" than these $500K per month analysts expect and still be "sold out".

Does this not tell you dicksuckers selling AAPL today MORE about the overbloated expectations of asshat analysts than the problems with Apple???

Something to think about.

More perspective: Samsung took 2 months to sell 10 million Galaxy S3's... 5 million iPhones in 3 days isn't so bad in my books...

Hockey Season is Upon Us...and I'd Like to Start the Year By PunchingYou Fuckers in the Face!!

In awe. Shellshocked. Flabbergasted. Stunned. Agog. Appalled. Blown the fuck away.

Just came back from our eldest kid's first hockey practice and team parents' meeting. And running through all of the above mentioned emotions...

A former coach of our kid, Jayden,  once told us that he probably wouldn't get a fair shake in evaluations until the PeeWee level because of his size and the fact he was a defenseman...

Never in a million years did I ever expect he would move UP from playing not bad, certainly not his best, evaluation scrimmages, to play in the group with a bunch of kids that got cut from the Rep team and most played tier 2 last year...

The kids at this level are bigger, faster, meaner, much more aggressive, and have no qualms about bashing their buddy's head into the boards... There were kids getting concussions in the evaluation games! Nice. Big difference from where our kid played last year...

The parents are not as loud as them vagabonds in the Novice and Atom levels but much more fucking cliquier...

While we are elated our kid placed on the highest tiered team he has ever landed in all the years he has played hockey, in his first year of Pee Wee, we're not so pleased we seemed to also have landed on the "money is no object when it comes to MY kid's hockey" team...

So with the extra ice time the coach ALREADY BOOKED FOR THE FUCKING YEAR, Jayden will be on the ice 6-7 times per week MINIMUM... Holee Crap! And the team wants to do 4 tournaments with a couple out of town tourneys this season; not necessarily in Phoenix, but at least one tourney where the kids get to stay in a hotel... And the team coaches has suggested they want to hire a fitness trainer/ nutrition consultant to aid in the kids' diet and training regimen... Operating budget goal for this season: $20,000.

Fuck me running sideways with a Zamboni up my ass, I haven't even been to Phoenix yet!

So what they're telling me is we can't find ANY teams to play hockey against in Western Canada?? You know, I think it's wonderful alot of you fuckers can go full retard to the upside in spoiling your child, but there are some of us that have more than one child in hockey as well.  In fact, my other son's Atom team's total budget for the season is $3600.00 with an initial cash call of $150.00; and that'll include some additional ice times, at least one tournament, and a year end party for the team. 

OK OK fine..., the money is one thing. Quit being such a fucking piker, Heisenberg. It's for your kid for fuck's sake! You got the cash. Fine. At a higher level of hockey, they need the ice time to groom them to get better and faster; I get that.

But for the love of straight men on Pinterest looking at home furnishings, where the fuck do you dicksuckers FIND THE TIME???

Doesn't anyone have a fucking real job?? Is EVERYONE self-employed and makes their OWN hours?? I guess all this is also a "write-off" too; which means pretty much "free" in Alberta for some reason.  So, WHEN the fuck do they fit in homework?? And supper for that matter???

Maybe it's just me but I could swear these kids are ages 11-12, and still not vying for spots to replace locked-out NHLers..

Fuck hiring a nutritionist, I'll vouch for a paid psychiatrist for all the psycho-hockey parents around these parts... it's gonna be a looong winter... I guess things could be worse.. I could be bitching about my kids getting pounded by guards at the Foxconn factory for rioting, but luckily they were born here in Canada; and for that we've got to put up with "hockey parents"...

AAPL is punching me in the fucking face this morning... over selling ONLY 5 million iPhone 5's in 3 fucking days in the US alone and all the bullshit at Foxconn... Still hanging on long as fuck despite the Costanza-esque selloff...

Good Morning.

Don't Bother About Upgrading To the iPhone 5...

My 5 is on the truck for delivery since 4:32AM this morning...

And from all the complaints from everyone I know who has never owned an iPhone, online and off, I guess I made a HUGE mistake. It's not worth the upgrade from what I'm told.

I, for one, am quite disappointed I will be missing out on seeing how many fanboys that have been waiting in line for an iPhone 5 since Monday suddenly get up out of line and run to a fucking Samsung store to buy their Galaxy S3 because they so happen see a couple of people smash their ridiculously large as fuck Samsung screens together, then take pictures with it after...ooooh.





BECAUSE THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE!!!

That's how easily fanboys, who've been sucking Apple dick since the Mac toaster days, change their fucking minds... "Oh no, some old hipster Boomers with BMWs and big houses and money just cut in line, time to buy a Samsung... we're not cool anymore..".

When was the last time you saw two people within 10ft of each other with Samsung phones?? Nevermind the SAME phone and tapping them together??? ALL THE TIME.  Did Apple not get the memo "the next big thing is already here"..???. I mean tapping phones together hasn't been this big since Crackberry vagabonds were doing it 2 years ago...

And these "Maps" complaints? Totally valid. Fuck those Apple bastards! Do they not know that is why we buy smartphones in the first place?? For the GPS!! And I expect pinpoint accuracy for every fucking urinal in every city around the world from ALL my GPS's...And, even if Google had no intention to upgrade their maps on the iPhone EVER, I expect all this and more from Apple... how dare they change the Maps App?

Yes, I do admit I'll miss the novelty of Streetview too. You never know when you're gonna feel the need to see what your house looked like 2 years ago or what your neighbour's dog taking a shit in front of your house looks like when the Google van drove by...

Why I will miss Streetview...

And those of you who feel the new iPhone just "isn't revolutionary" enough to upgrade, I understand. Your StarTac served you well for years, there's absolutely no reason your iPhone 3G won't do just fine as well; it IS "the same phone, same content, and same operating system..."

Don't you KNOW it's a fucking conspiracy-- those computer geeks are taking over the world and they are trying to control us... How dare they make us CHANGE OUR CABLES when we switched from CRT monitors to flatscreen LCDs!!!  . Totally understandable why everyone is soo pissed about the new adapter.  Well, fuck them Apple dicksuckers and their new cables-- our pentium machines running Windows 3.1 runs just fine and dandy for what we need to do with them even after we dropped them in water; we're smarter than them and never will we be assimilated into the Matrix...

You see, we are quite content with that big ass tube TV in a wooden box in our basements and our 1982 K-Cars... You see, when we went from Black & White TVs to colour and from horse & buggy to gasoline engines, now THAT WAS REVOLUTIONARY!!! Everything else since then has only been small tweaks...and not revolutionary at all. Fuck you Apple and your upgrade cycle.  "Innovation at Apple died with Steve Jobs"... WE WANT SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT... perhaps a flip phone with a dinky keyboard??  Or a stylus!! Like the Note!! Apple has always been known to get rid of shit everybody wants.. look what they did to the Newton!!

The Next "Big Thing"

Damn. My sarcasm button on my keyboard is stuck on FUCK YOU again... Is it obvious?

And something extra... because buying a Samsung was EXACTLY the same....



Monthly OPEX today. It will be interesting to see MM's try to keep this under the 700 roll when there are no sellers...

Good Morning. Good Luck in all your trades.

So Why Did I Buy the iPhone 5?

Recent press releases from AT& T and Apple says they are selling stupid as fuck amounts of the new iPhone 5 in the past few days.. Luckily I got my pre-order within the first hour.. So why am I getting the 5? Especially since I upgraded to the 4S barely 11 months ago?

Sure.. the new iPhone will have 4G LTE speeds, a bigger screen, more memory, etc. etc. You don't need me to give you all the specs... Google it.

I'm don't really see myself as a fanboy, more of a fan-old fucker nowadays but I do still enjoy my nerdy tech gadgets.. but that's not it.

And I quit trying to impress my peers eons ago... plus they're all still into their granite countertops and stainless steel appliances up here in Canada anyways.. so that's not it either...

I was parked outside the supermarket the other day while the wife ran inside to pick up a few things. Not 10 seconds after I park, some dirty old street person walks up to my car and taps on my window to ask me if I had any spare change so he can catch a bus. I roll down the window partially to tell him "Sorry pal, no change, now get the fuck away from my window..."

He then walks away from my vehicle to meet up with another street person working the other side of the parking lot; the other guy must've been a colleague by the way he was pushing the shopping carts full of bottles and garbage bags... I kept a watchful eye on them for a bit as I've heard in the news some of these vagabonds may vandalize your car or get violent sometimes when they don't get any spare change...

Much to my surprise, both reach into their overcoats and pull out cel phones and start texting like a couple of crazy teenagers with Crackberries... Not only did they have cel phones, they were both using iPhone 4's; I can tell not only by the recognizable Otterbox they had protecting them but because that's the kind of psychopath that I am...

Being an AAPL shareholder, I was quite elated that they had iPhones but like fuck if some dirty motherfucking vagrant clad in a burlap sack begging for fucking bus fare is gonna have a nicer phone than me!!!

Nevermind trying to keep up with the fucking Joneses, it's all about staying ahead of the dirty vagabonds these days...

Disclaimer: Got the black/slate 64GB iPhone 5... should be here Friday..and lineups are for suckers. And vagabonds.

Vagabonds in line for the new iPhone 5...

   

In all honesty, I could use a 10% pullback in AAPL here... that way I can go from stupid as fuck long to retarded as fuck longer...

Good Luck in all your trades.

A Message to Our Fans and Partners From the Edmonton Oilers...

"A message to our fans and partners:

As you are most likely aware, the Collective Bargaining Agreement between the National Hockey League and the National Hockey League Players Association expired this past Saturday, September 15. Since the two parties were unable to reach a new agreement by that date, a work stoppage is now in effect. We remain hopeful a new CBA will be reached in the near future and the 2012-13 NHL season will commence with minimal interruption.

We assure you our thoughts are mainly about you during these troubled times. Oilers fans have carried our team to greatness many times in the past and you can be assured that we spend every day working on plans to repeat those achievements for you, as soon as possible. In the meantime, while this dispute is unsolved, we thank you for your patience and your loyalty.

Patrick LaForge

President & COO

Edmonton Oilers"

FUCK YOU PAT. If you and your huckster cronies gave even the slightest inkling of a thought about "the fans" at any time throughout this entire this bullshit money struggle, we would have hockey right now, no?

Not gonna lie to you, I am embarrassed to be an NHL fan today. Not as a hockey fan, but as an NHL fan. Again, fuck you.

Sincerely yours,
Heisenberg.

PS. Fuck you Pat. Just because I doubt you got the memo on the first two.

Good Times Here Again...

Four years ago today, Lehman Bros filed for bankruptcy protection...

For some of us, it was beginning of the end of the world as we watched in horror the stunning series of events that culminated thereafter as that moment changed the financial landscape of the entire world forever... Our portfolios, our pension plans, and our retirement futures were going to $00.00 and if you weren't already fucking dead, you wished you were...

For the rest of you dickless vagabonds living in homeless man tents eating beans and lard from a fucking can, it was just another Monday....you went to work, sucked dick for overtime, then carried on with your rakish lifestyle of checking and re-checking the Real Estate Weekly Guide to see if your home went up another 3 bucks in a week...

We've come a long way since the Lehman moment: The DOW is closing in on all time highs again and investors are feeling pretty fucking good about themselves.

This is the time of year when main stream media likes to take stock of things and reflect back and ask such fucktarded socio-economic populist questions: Are you better off now than you were four years ago?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

AAPL is at all time highs with everyone and their dog maxing out their Visas to smother their unwashed naked bodies with Apple products; Markets are Hershey-squirting the fuck higher, also teasing its all time highs and the Bearded Clam has got our backs, opening the cocaine spigots wide fucking open. As gentlemen, it is time once again to press our bets, spend money freely while publicly mocking the unemployed; in fact it is our duty...  no, our God-given right to explore with irrational exhuberance the hidden realms of unchecked hedonism and gaudy decadence in glorious times such as these.

A great many of you may feel otherwise; those of you self-proclaimed knights in shining armour, superhero types, hell-bent on saving the world from moral decay and degeneracy; spouting off about the implications of eternal QE and the dreadful impact fighting egregious debt with more debt may have on our future generations.

"QE has never directly translated into more jobs, only higher prices for energy and food!!" "QE only helps the rich, the poor get poorer and the middle class gets wiped out.."

Yeah yeah, go Disney your ass somewhere else, you just don't get it. I used to think this way too but a great wise man once asked me, Does a gentleman making $500,000 per annum living in a 5000 sqft home give two fucks about $20 a gallon gas or $300 tomatoes? "The well to do represent more than 70% of consumer spending. They don't give a shit about gasoline prices, like the rest of you plebs. If gas was $20.00 per gallon, they'd still build 45,000 square foot mansions in Palm Beach."

"Now, I want you to think of the alternative to QE, my fucked faced friend"

Austerity. Deflation. Asset price depreciation. So what's wrong with that? We could use some lower prices?

So if a loaf of bread dropped to, let's say, 5 cents.. Would that be cheap enough for your piker ass?? The thing is, when you don't have that 5 cents to your name, that loaf of bread might as well be stuffed in a diamond encrusted solid gold bottle of Chateau Lafitte 1787 wrapped in a Siberian Sable fur coat driving a Bugatti Veyron Supersport with Marilyn Monroe naked in the backseat playing with an iPhone 5...

In 1933, a 20oz loaf a bread was 5 cents. Millions of people around the world went hungry because they had no money for food and the food was being rationed...

Yeah. Isn't it time you joined in the greatest cocaine gorilla party ever too?? Long live the Bernank and his POMO forever machines!

Adventures in First Appearances...

Apologies to all you addicts that come here daily for some of my AAPL trading rants... for those of you that were looking for typical Friday pin and weekly opex action yesterday, this was an event week with the product announcement and QE3, all that OI shit goes out the window and I mostly sat on my hands watching the cocaine being thrown into industrial strength floor-drying fans; plus I was too tired to blog, staying up late doing my part in ensuring Apple sells out of iPhone 5's in its first hour...

Anyways, I went down to my local bank this morning, to order some more paper cheques and found it nearly impossible to even get the fucking time of day from them...

I know I probably could've done everything I needed to do via the standard teller, but I prefer to do ALL my in-person banking "concierge"-style with those people in ugly flannel suits and sit on their plush leather chairs drinking tea rather than stand in line at the fucking glass-windowed wickets like some degenerate riverboat gambler at the horse races...

When the 'financial specialist' finally got off the phone with her buddies and stopped chit-fucking-chatting with every one of her other co-workers that happened to walk by,  I told her I only needed the new cheques and to give her a couple of signatures for some extra paperwork already done online for my options trading accounts.

But jst as her banker training hypnosis dictates her to do so, she INSISTED we have a look-see at my accounts so she could possibly help me with my investments...

So, upon bringing up all my accounts onto her computer screen, I had to roll my fucking eyes as she literally shit herself... Yes, that is a comma, the decimal point is over there...

"Oh I'm sorry, I was busy checking my Facebook, what were those mutual funds you were trying to sell me again??"

Suddenly, progress on those cheques.

Followed up by some grand scale asskissing...


Moral of story: Just because I opt to dress like some punk-kid skateboarder vagabond that just crawled out of a homeless man tent, doesn't necessarily mean I need your financial advice... plus your mutual funds suck dick.

Have we not learned anything at all from "Pretty Woman"??