The Verdict is In, and You Are An Asshat!

If you haven't heard already because you so happen to live under a fucking rock or was lying face down in the mud, too inebriated from drinking your face off to check the news on your iPhone, Apple has been awarded $1.05 billion in damages after a ruling from a US court that Samsung "willfully" infringed on 6 of 7 Apple patents.

After the decision was announced,  AAPL share price ripped to the upside printing all time highs in after hours trading,  the news media went balls out psycho tapping furiously on their keyboards like coke-addled baby monkeys in Shriners hats, spreading the news and touting how this verdict is going to change the entire industry towards Apple's favor...

The News Media in its finest hour...

Apple fanboys around the globe cheered with glee, AND are still rejoicing, doing lines of blow atop the finest Hollywood hookers with Sherlock Holmes pipes and hollering at the top of their lungs, while sashaying in the streets like porn stars with two erect dicks, dressed up in clown suits riding unicycles, beating their chests with both fists in between doing Jersey Shore fist pumps,  Tebows,  and high fiving each other, Top-Gun-style...

Meanwhile the 'anti-Apple' crowd went full retard Hulking rage temper tantrum, turning green and shit, purple pants and all, ripping their shirts off, throwing furniture and hissy fits around, ready "to go" with anyone and everyone full contact octagon-style, whilst eating sour grapes and smashing their middle fingers against their 'big screen TV' Samsung phones, crying like the litte bitches they are and talking shit over the internets, on how unfair and what BS the decision was... 

It was simply amazing just how much shit was posted all over the blogosphere and twitter by all the "hardcore" Samsung lovers out there:

"Apple won but the consumer lost", "be prepared to pay more for your smartphones", "it's crap that Apple has a patent for rectangular device with rounded corners", "the judge was paid off by Apple", "Apple chose to have court dominance rather than compete",  "the verdict was anti-competition, anti-consumer", "unfortunate that patent law can be manipulated", "a reasonable judge will overturn this on appeal", "There is an Apple-boycott campaign underway",  "Apple stole from Palm, these patents are ridiculous", "if IBM sued like Apple, Apple wouldn't exist today", "Apple just killed innovation", "Apple took Samsung to court so they wouldn't have to lower their price", "AAPL going to crash to $500.00"... 

And the list goes on...

Even billionaire Mark Cuban @mcuban got in on the shitshow, proving to the entire world he has no clue about the history of computers and even all the money in the world could not change the fact he is just another asshat with a gay Samsung phone.  So suddenly all this patent shit is bullshit because Apple won??  Hold it.  Doesn't Cuban own 7.4% of patent troll VRNG, an entire business based upon suing companies over patents?? But I'm sure you got no problem if VRNG wins their suit against Google. Yeah. Asshat. And a hypocritical douchebag to boot.

What a sorry exhibition it was....Seriously,  are you that fucking blind??  You mean to tell me Apple has no influence on Samsung products whatsoever?? Even their stores are copied!!  Click on the link and see for yourself!! 

How I personally feel about this whole ordeal is exactly how Bob Lefsetz so eloquently said it  on Barry Ritholtz's blog:

"As for the Samsung Galaxy products… If you don’t think they’re a rip-off of Apple gear, you’re truly blind.

And this is about everything musicians rail about. Copyrights. Only in this case, it’s called patents. Can someone steal with impunity?
Then again, patents don’t last forever.

But can you ride the back of someone else’s hard work and innovation to riches? Can someone copy your CD at no cost? If you don’t think so, then you must come down on the side of Apple in this lawsuit, however much you hate the Cupertino company.

And in this case, it was the best against the best. And the judge was a hoot, she’d take no gruff, she didn’t lose control of her courtroom. Hell upon seeing Apple’s witness list, she asked the company’s barristers if they were smoking crack!

And I don’t want to get into a lengthy discussion of whether patent protection should exist, I’ll just say there were rules. And Samsung broke them, just like Lance Armstrong."

The lengthy discussion on patents and patent laws is for another day. The thing is I am trying to comprehend is why these Samsung "fanboys", or rather 'Apple haters' get so fucking wound up over anything about Apple??  I mean, how many shares of Samsung do YOU own?? None? Of course not! You can't even buy shares of it on this side of the world! Believe me, I've tried.  I personally like their business and they make such great copies of Sony TVs...

Oh.. So you JUST own a Samsung phone? And perhaps a TV.. Good on you...   So you spend this much energy and passion playing this game of "my dick is bigger than your dick" ONLY to justify your smartphone purchase...wow.

So, in what OTHER way does this verdict affect you? So I'm guessing that "evil empire" that is Apple can now 'legally' use the force to make all Samsung smartphones suddenly shut down, crawl up your ass, and spontaneously explode??  Or are you just mad because you already know you fucked up locking in to a 3-year contract for an obsolete phone?? Well,  not to worry that new HTC or Motorola RAZR smartphone release is just around the corner...   Because that's how much loyalty Samsung owners have...  And who the fuck cares anyways?? As if anyone gives a fuck and was going to suddenly change their mind because of YOUR fucktarded opinion on patents, throw their entire iTunes music collection they've been building since 2001 out the window, and run out and buy the new fucking Sony Xperia....

Yes, I am biased towards AAPL. I hold stupid-as-fuck amounts of AAPL stock, as well as I'm locked in for life into the Apple ecosystem.  And yes, this verdict means something to me because it just paid for my next iMac, iPhone 5, iPad Mini, and kids' university education (actually that's not entirely true; the ramp up from $85 to $200 paid for all that Apple gear).  At least them Crackberry guys have an argument. Most of them are loyal to their brand and probably own shares in RIMM; and they're freaking out because their shares are going to $00.00... I can respect that. I can see why they would want to defend their precious smartphone purchase.  But you Samsung guys... You guys are asshats. Just like Mark.