It is obvious the ingestion of waay too many carbs in the form of stupid-as-fuck amounts of cake and Doritos, along with tepid 1-pint cans of "Bud Lite Chillatas" this past weekend at a birthday celebration of some friends of ours, is the culprit for my bowel's explosive volatility this morning, as my body seems to be re-entering some fucked up phase of ketosis, in my post-vacation low-carb diet...
I am quite elated, actually more thankful, the egregious expel of toxic methane vapours has not been of the familiar "moist" variety (no homo) and nobody had to die yet, but, I am quite sure my poor sphinter is going to pay with animalistic violence and medieval fury (no Pulp Fiction) for my erroneous pomp and circumstance later this afternoon...
Before we go any further, if any of you degenerate voyeurs that like to loiter here on a regular basis, are thinking of commenting with the usual "eww.. You re so gross", "too much information" or " that's more than I want to know" bullshit, I'd like to politely interject and tell you all with the utmost sincerity and honesty to fuck right off.
Grow up already. Must I always have to remind you my blogs and Facebook wall is a venue for the mature viewing audience, where four-letter verbiage is the norm and we talk money and stocks and Wall Street shit like scholarly gentlemen.
You see, this is MY kitchen fuckface, and if I feel the need to shit on the fucking floor, I will.. (no Leslie Gore)...
Why? Because I CAN.
$AAPL dividend record day today...hence, I ain't selling shit just yet... Good Morning $$
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