Woo Hoo! Got Me a Bonus Cheque..!

Apple's Hottest New Release: A quarterly dividend! First one Apple has ever paid out in 17 fucking years!!

And I see the AAPL Dividend payment is already in my account this morning! A cool $2.65 per share at a time my AAPL holdings are peaking at 75% of my portfolio...

Over the next three years, Apple has stated that its buyback and dividend plans will distribute $45 billion from its cash hoard. With the company's 935 million shares outstanding, the quarterly dividend will fork over nearly $2.5 billy to investors each Q!

Even with their "big miss" in the most recent June quarter, Apple still miraculously announced the accumulation of an additional $7 billion in fucking cash; so the payment of $2.5 billion in dividends will not reduce Apple's cash hoard, nor even stop it from growing past its current height at $117 billion.

Thing is, though the company's current dividend payment rate is seemingly cheap-as-fuck when looking at its current and future cash positions, at the same time, Apple's $2.5 billion in quarterly dividend payments makes it still one of the highest dividend payers in the U.S.

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